In Not the News today (content may offend), New Zealand is today coming to terms with the most astonishing news in its history of discovery, settlement and development.

The closure of the Mount walking tracks due to alleged landslips appears now to be an elaborate cover-up.

Under the cover of darkness, your intrepid reporter Cliff Edge slipped unnoticed past the guards, and can now reveal, exclusively on Not the News, the real truth being hidden by the authorities. The hidden Chinese tomb – dating from 1215.

Creeping down the entrance tunnel, the lamp dimly marking out ancient Chinese drawings and scripts on the wall; a large chamber came into view, taking the breath away with its size and magnificence.

A large mausoleum in the centre is surrounded by hundreds of terracotta figures, believed to represent guards for the journey to heaven.

On the sarcophagus is a statue of the sacred virgin, again believed to be the companion for the last journey.

Contacting the Chinese Historical Research Institute revealed this to be the fabled lost tomb of royal explorer Lee Dee Kew Laos, who led expeditions throughout the 13th Century to find new lands and claim them for the motherland.

Institute spokesperson Billy Ho explained, ‘This is certainly the long lost temple, thought by some to be just a myth, known in the most revered terms as Virgin on Lee Dee Kew Laos. At last the truth is known.'

As word has leaked out, Not the News understands that the Chinese government has now been in touch with Wellington to lay a formal claim to all the territories now known as New Zealand.

‘We have always known that, to put it bluntly, we were here first,' says Chinese Foreign Minister Kee Kew Owt, ‘now we have the proof'.

Maori Party headquarters switchboard was jammed with callers late this morning, and no-one was available for comment. However, it is believed that to avoid possible offence, Sunday's planned Waitangi Day celebrations will be followed by a public holiday on Monday to be known as Lee Dee Kew Laos Day.