For something to be popular these days it needs to be part of a competition. That's the lesson we learn from television, and who can argue with ratings?

Music is not a competitive sport as far as I can tell. Yet shows based around good Kiwi musicians making good music had all but disappeared from television until the competitions started. X Factor, The Voice, various Idols, various Got Talents; what's music on television these days without scoring at the end?
Similarly, house building is not something I've ever regarded as a competitive sport. Or cooking for that matter. Fashion design? Baking? Who cares as long as it's a competition? Even general knowledge needed to be made into QI before anyone wanted to know anything. TV3 now presents current affairs as a winner versus loser scenario on The Vote. News is just so boring without a victor at the end.
I blame it on sport.
If music now resembles a competitive sport then what resembles a competitive sport even more is competitive sport. Whoever thought to make competitive sport a competitive sport was a genius.
It certainly inflames passions. Even more than music, which is why, I guess, it is still more popular in New Zealand. Perhaps X Factor and all those other contests can learn a thing or two. More passion! I was struck, for instance, by news out of Brazil earlier this week. Brazil's the place hosting the Football World Cup next year, so they're pretty passionate about their sport. What have they got to teach the X Factor?
Well, during an amateur game in Pio XII it seems a 30-year-old player got into an argument with the referee. This ended when the referee produced a knife and stabbed the player. To death. Now that's the sort of thing you don't see on the X Factor. Do they search the judges first or could young Stan be secretly harbouring a skiv?
But it's what happened next at the football game that made me think of the X Factor. Spectators burst onto the pitch and attacked the referee. And beheaded him.
Yep. I kid you not. They beat him to death and beheaded him. Now that's what we need the next time a popular contestant is sent home (or knifed to death) by the judges. A little more 'audience reaction”...
Another activity that isn't competitive is songwriting, though there are songwriting competitions all over the place including, sometimes, on television. Fortunately, most songwriters are motivated by deeper forces than those who want to be an instant idol.
Most songwriters toil away in relative isolation. Like any writer, that's kinda the deal. It does, however, make it hard to learn, except by recognising and correcting your own mistakes.
But help is here in the form of a very interesting-looking masterclass being organised by the Bay of Plenty Polytechnic. It is led by American singer/songwriter Kevin Welch, a co-founder of the Dead Reckoning Records label and a man who has had serious success with his songs. Working largely in the country genre he has had songs recorded by Waylon Jennings, Ricky Scaggs, Garth Brooks, Trisha Yearwood and Don Williams amongst others.
Last year the Polytechnic brought songwriting guru Pat Pattison to town for two fascinating sessions. I saw many local musicians (as well as music students) there and everyone I spoke to was blown away by the new ideas presented. No songwriter thinks of everything on their own so a bit of input can be invaluable.
Input is what Kevin will be giving. You can submit songs (first in, first on the list) to be critiqued, or just listen and discuss. I think this will be a brilliant night for aspiring songwriters of any skill level. It's happing at the Level 5 Café at the Bongard Centre on Cameron Rd on Tuesday, July 23 from 6.30 to 9.30pm and costs $125, or $100 with an APRA or student discount. You can register or get more information at www.cmcmusicproductions.com.
And, finally, just a quick correction from last week. If you want to find out more about the most excellent-sounding Penman-McNeill-Alley concert, happening at the Te Puna Hall on July 19, the correct contact is Rosie, [email protected]