As the world spirals ever further towards terminal weirdness and Christmas races towards us at an alarming speed, I find myself increasingly reaching for the eggnog.

Actually, eggnog is a terrible Christmas drink, despite its great name. The name is so good that you just want to cuddle up to it like a warm blanket but, in reality, it's basically a hardcore adult version of chocolate milk. Except without the chocolate. Or milk.

In place of the milk you have cream, and in place of the chocolate you have rum or bourbon. Rum is the English choice while American's plonk for bourbon. The aristocracy prefer brandy. Just add a lethal dose of sugar and you have the unhealthiest drink ever. The alcohol is probably the only thing in it that's good for you.

Ban it I say

Why not? The alcohol bill is coming up soon and everyone's already complaining that not enough stuff has been banned. Or perhaps Peter Dunne can add eggnog to the list of party pills and smokable synthetics that he's frantically trying to eradicate. Send the eggnog down to the SPCA and they can do some animal testing on it.

(I have yet to understand why you would want to test party pills on animals – as Peter Dunne so 'sensibly” suggests – when there is apparently a never-ending supply of willing human volunteers. Why should the animals have all the fun?)

But the urge to ban stuff just doesn't seem to go away. It's enough to make me long for my youth, growing up in the wild hills of Turkmenistan. They're good at banning things in Turkmenistan too. The late ruler, President Niyazov, banned beards. And opera. And ballet and circuses. And he banned newsreaders from wearing make-up on television. Peter Dunne would love it there...

Meanwhile, in everybody's favourite communist paradise, Cuba, home of the Tango and Che Guevara posters, they have banned reggaeton. Officials have decided that its hip-thrusting mix of hip-hop, reggae and Latin beats is a threat to 'proper” music.

A crackdown on reggaeton and other unnamed musical styles that are threatening the revolutionary country's traditional musical culture will punish artists and fine those who programme it, according to Cuban Music Institute boss Orlando Vistel Columbié.

'We are not just talking about reggaeton. There is vulgarity, banality and mediocrity in other forms of music too. On the one hand there are aggressive, sexually obscene lyrics that deform the innate sensuality of the Cuban woman, projecting them as grotesque sexual objects. And all that is backed by the poorest quality music. Measures that have been adopted range from professional disqualification to the levying of severe sanctions against those who from official institutions encourage or permit these practices,” said Vistel. 'We are in the process of purging music catalogues with the aim of eradicating practises that, in their content, stray from the legitimacy of Cuban popular culture.”

Good grief! Let's only hope that the government here – or, God forbid, the local council – don't hear about this. For reggae (and possibly even reggaeton) is hitting The Bay at the end of the month.

Exodus line up

Papamoa's Exodus Festival is back for a second time on New Year's Eve and has a fantastic line-up in store for skanking fans. Herbs, Katchafire, 1814, Cornerstone Roots, David Grace, Paua, Sons of Zion and a plethora of others – there are around twenty acts in total, plus DJs – will be playing, kicking off at 12.30pm on 31 December and running through till about 1.30am in the new year. With tickets only $75 (available from Ticketek) how can you lose?

But, if you're unable to get along then you might be interested in the warm-up pre-party party, taking place at Brewer's Bar on 30 December. This one runs from 3.00pm till 10.00pm and features L40, One Drop Nation, Unknown Peace, Soulovus, Natural Remedy and NLC.

There is, of course, a pile of stuff happening as the year draws to a close but it is especially cool to see a big-scale festival. For years there has been palpable paranoia about allowing such events to take place – it's good to see things returning to a state where we can welcome 2013 with some great music. Just don't take along any eggnog.