I must complement my comrades on the city council regarding the new rubbish regime. The city council providers (CCP) have at long last relieved me of my personal burden of putting out a rubbish bag every two to three weeks and recycling the rest with a very generous weekly allowance.

Hurrah.

And to anoint just one collection company will eliminate the pesky idea of competition which drives down the wages of my proletariat comrades.

Brilliant idea.

I rejoice in the great wisdom shown by the committee (Soviet in the old language). Can I now ask the CCP to petition the Supreme Soviet (council) in Wellington to further assist the proletariat.

Equality of opportunity is a silly idea, we need equality of outcome. So how about a further week's holiday - disguise it as extra sick leave and the bourgeoisie won't notice.

What about an extra stat' holiday as well, say Dhanteras, it will be good for the economy I am sure.

Just bring out the race card to shut down any conversation if there is resistance.

I can feel the warm glow of the dawn of our socialist utopia falling upon me.

D Mardle, Papamoa