Brian Rogers Rogers Rabbits www.sunlive.co.nz

There's been plenty said already about the NZ flag project, to the point that most people are tired of hearing about it.

It hasn't reached feverish levels of passion; Kiwis have failed to get highly patriotic and energised by this discussion. Perhaps we're still gobsmacked at the cost. Whatever the reason, the process has failed to generate a level of enthusiastic hype necessary to gain a convincing result either way. To topple the existing flag, any challenger should knock our socks off.

That hasn't happened. I don't see you so fired up about the alternative that the country is fizzing at the gills to get on with it. That doesn't mean the old flag should stay forever, just that now isn't the time for it to be replaced.

Much of the debate has been pointless, a perfectly straightforward democratic process hijacked by those with petty political agendas. That has robbed the campaign of its energy and direction.

Who's flag is it?

Such as the mindset that some people have, to vote against change because it was John Key's idea. That's pathetic. This is not Key's flag. It's Kyle Lockwood's. Just because Mr Key likes it, doesn't make it a good or a bad flag. He's just voicing his opinion, which every New Zealander is entitled to do. And we should expect our Prime Minister to have a view. It would be pretty weak leadership if he didn't have a view…and express it. Yes, it cost a lot of money. Too much, and everyone I know agrees. But that shouldn't sway your vote either. Too late, the dosh is blown, and no amount of angst will get it back.

My advice is simple. Just vote for whichever flag you like.

Don't get dragged into whose idea it was, or the whys and wherefores of personalities promoting it; or any guilt trips about historical connections.

Those who fought and died in wars did so to give us, future generations, the opportunity to have choices. They're mostly buried under the fern or the kiwi, not Jack or any of his reincarnations. We respect the fallen for their sacrifice and their commitment to freedom.

They would not have expected to influence freedom of choice from beyond the grave.
We could go on for years debating whether the new proposed flag is a worthy contender or not, but no-one has come up with any better.

I'm not convinced it's the perfect replacement, but I can't suggest anything better. Yes, the challenger has grown on me as time has gone by, but does it have the 'wow” factor?

‘Yeah, nah'. Best we get on with it, then. Pick one. Have a vote. Be part of the process. And happily accept whatever is the outcome then we can get on with the real importance stuff.

Because the old flag ain't perfect, but neither is the alternative.

Will anything ever be?

Media above the law?

Since the Police have decided not to prosecute TV3 reporters after they fraudulently and illegally purchased a firearm for the purposes of a story, does this signal to the news industry that we can all go breaking the law for the sake of getting a sensational yarn?

Is a 'slap on the wrist with a wet bus ticket” warning the harshest repercussions we can expect?

The RR brains trust is now brimming with ideas of how we could perform criminal acts, write about it, and then claim it was all just to bring attention to shortcomings of the law. Do not try this at home…

The big plan

First up, I plan to sneak into the nearest distillery and attempt to drown myself in the whiskey vat. Not for the purpose of enjoying a near-lethal dose of single malt, but to write an expose on how to thwart the tight security surrounding distilleries. Remind me to take a bucket of ice and a cigar.

Next we'll go a step better than gunslinger du Plessis-Allan.

We'll smuggle a Scud missile into the country and blow up a small but pointless town somewhere, such as Remuera. Not because we don't like the people there; but to highlight how terrorists could do the same, and who knows, unless we bring it to public attention, the bad guys might take a dislike for, say, Ponsonby, and explode it into a 300 metre high plume of righteous indignation and latte.

Also on the hit list: Throwing sex toys at members of Parliament.

Oh hang on, that's already been done, and yes, a similar result to the TV3 firearms case – no charge. Only the dildo-propelling protester wasn't hiding behind the cloak of journalism…she was simply a nutter with no better place to lunge a sex toy.

It would make an excellent story to let a bronze whaler loose in Baywave.

There might be a few casualties, but until our exclusive story, who knew it was possible to create so much fishy mayhem at the hydroslide?

Robbing a train. Just to prove it's still possible to stage a spectacular heist. I've no idea what we'll do with the stash of pinus radiata logs that were destined for the Port of Tauranga, maybe the gang will each be able to build a small house.

Police will let us off because we'll do it without de-railing the train. So there can't be any allegations of a miscarriage of justice. Send us your suggestions for spectacular-but-criminal stunts in the name of journalism. We'll make you famous, and recommend a good lawyer.

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Warning: Don't break the law. We will not be held responsible for whiskey vat drownings or criminal acts performed.