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Brian Rogers Rogers Rabbits www.sunlive.co.nz |
Silly Idea of the Week Award goes to the Green Party who figured that the country would be better off if we printed more money.
Here at the Sun we think it's a great idea to print more money. We should have been doing that for the last 12 years: Printing fivers and putting them free into your letterboxes every week.
You think this newspaper is popular now? Man, you should see how keen people would be to have cash delivered. Mind you, it wouldn't be quite as interesting to read. And probably a bit of a disaster from a business point of view. Much like the Green plan.
The Green Party idea to crank up the mint presses to print more money, to help the economic downturn, is a bit like standing in a bucket and trying to lift yourself up with the handle.
So in honour of this astounding piece of logic, we've decided to print you all some Not Particularly Legal Tender. In view of the fact that it's an offence to print unreal money, we've gone to great lengths to make your free money as unrealistic as possible, so it can't be confused with the real stuff. Someone tell the Greens though, cos in their state of mind, they might think it is real.
So here's some Very Illegal Tender.
We're re-introducing the two cents, because we're a bit tired of looney politicians putting their two cents worth in. So we'll put ours in. The two cents features Ms Bradford, representing the two per cent of anything she says actually making any sense.
We'll re-introduce the dollar Bill. Featuring Bill English, of course. The one dollar Bill Bill.
The Helen Clark IOU note. You know, the one she left the incoming government.
The John Banks Bank Note. We can't remember how much it is for.
Richie McCaw has a licence to print money, with his new book out this week. It can't help but be a huge financial success. He'll be on our new No.7 dollar note.
Hone Harawira features on the new mental note. It doesn't matter how much it's for, simply 'everything you have, is mine.”
The new $50,000 note features Kim Dotcom. This will be a very handy note for the multimillionaire to use, since he makes a lot of donations of that amount. Including to the Christchurch Earthquake mayoral campaign, to an injured rugby player in a wheelchair, and to the John Banks' electioneering fund.
Train campaign
Our idea, spawned by David Dalton, to campaign for rail passenger services into Tauranga, is gaining momentum with plenty of support from readers.
Kathryn Arnold writes in the letters page this week, supporting the concept of suburban commuter services.
Another reader called this week in support of the regional connections, but pointed out we included Katikati in the list of townships even though there hasn't been a train through there for several decades. We see his point. The rail track was ripped up about 40 years ago after the opening of the Kaimai Tunnel, so apart from that minor detail, it was still a good concept. Hover rail perhaps? I'm sure a rail connection as far as Apata, with Bayline providing the connecting bus link to downtown Katikati, would be a possibility.
Other callers voiced again the general feeling that the rail track through Tauranga must go. The aging Matapihi Bridge should be ripped out and a rail link built in the vicinity of the road bridges.
We can fund it with the new money that we're all printing!
We like your thinking. Keep the ideas coming.
Parting shot: a money joke.
A man went to an auction. He bid on an exotic parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but was repeatedly outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher. Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bird. The price was high but the fine parrot was finally his!
As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the auctioneer, "I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can't talk!"
"Don't worry," said the auctioneer, "He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?"
