Brian Rogers Rogers Rabbits www.sunlive.co.nz

Asylum seekers are on the news, and I must say, there are times when I think it would be good to go back there.

I really miss those days in the asylum, with the rest of the team. Sometimes it's not the same out in the real world. I'm not surprised that people from around the world are seeking the asylum. Then there are days, here on the outside, when I look around myself and wonder if I ever really left.

Meanwhile, those Chinese people on the boat looked like nice folk. I reckon we should let them into New Zealand. They'll probably make honest, hardworking and law abiding citizens, which is more than can be said for half the people here already.

Perhaps we should take them as a trade, and get rid of a few of the useless sods? Load the boat up with losers and point it north. Even back to Australia would do, we've unloaded a fair few no-hopers there already - another boatload isn't going to hurt.

I've already started a list of those we can ship out on the first boat. Trouble is, the list gets longer every day and we might need more boats. We don't want a stampede, and no pushing Mr Minto onboard; give him a chance to get his baggage in order – I assume he'll take Ms Bradford with him.

It's probably worth putting word out amongst the other asylum seekers out there, with boats, to come on down. Bring a good attitude and learn some English, and we'll backload your boat with freeloading bludgers, criminals, troublemakers and professional protesters.

The asylum seekers may have solved the problem for New Zealand, with the last reports suggesting they would try to stay in Darwin; a good option to save NZ the hassle and cost of processing and rehabilitating them.

But as a nation we need to decide how we feel about the prospect of refugees arriving here. It is likely to become a greater issue in years to come with worldwide strife continuing.

In these situations I like to consider: What would Jesus do? We all know the answer to that. He'd let them in. Why not, when you've got the ability to turn water into wine and do some pretty cool maneuvers with loaves and fish.

What would Helen Clark do? Probably let them in, if they promised to vote for her.

Winston wouldn't let them in. What don't you understand about NO?

Taito Phillip Fields would get them here to tile his house.

Graham Capill would let them in, especially the children. He'd offer to take them out for dinner for his speciality: shanghai'd yung wuns.

Tame Iti could take them under his wing and offer some 'training”.

Justin Bieber is keen to help, saying there'd be One Less Lonely Girl.

Madonna's already got her lawyers on to the paperwork to try to ward off Angelina Jolie's attempt to adopt them all.

David Bowie says he's due for a new little China Girl.

Meanwhile, back in the city, there's a furore going again over the historic village, which is drawing a heap of comments on SunLive.

So many people would like to see the village restored to its former glory and again play the role of the region's museum. On the surface it makes a lot more sense than letting the village fall into ruin. It also would seem a better option for the museum pieces, rather than having them in storage at massive cost to ratepayers.

However, what many well intentioned folk are overlooking is the massive cost of getting the village into a suitable state to home the relics, comply with stiffer local body regulations and be safe from floods. The place is built on a swamp and even to stop the regular flooding would require earthworks in the millions.

There's no easy answer to all this, despite the wishful thinking of many. See what the people have to say on this, and other issues, and add your thoughts to the comments. It's simple to join up, and free.

Puke-ulele

Love 'em or hate 'em, a major infestation of ukuleles is happening in Katikati, home of murals and questionable musical tastes.

Winston Watusi this week bravely plucks at the very heartstrings of the ukulele fraternity (see the entertainment pages) He stopped short of using my suggested headline, involving the word ‘puke-ulele', but does have a very amusing take on the craze.

Lucky the uke brigade are a thick-skinned bunch and can take the jibes. Best of luck with your festival and we'll be listening intently. From a distance. Probably the asylum.

Parting thought:

Overheard in a conversation, about cold remedies:
'I recommend going to the herbalist and taking a big dose of euthanasia.”

Sounds a bit extreme to us, but apparently anyone who takes euthanasia doesn't complain of any cold symptoms. Worth a try! Although, I might start with Echinacea first.