Where's all the blustering from across the ditch this week? Where are the Peter Fitzsimmons' and his ilk? Where's all the jingoism and breast-beating.?

Let's look at the Aussie sporting record in the last few days. Clobbered by the Poms in two cricket ODIs, including a record loss and skipper Paine enduring the 'hardest day's cricket of my life”. While promising much, the Socceroos got picked off by the French first game up at the World Cup; a New Zealand coach and the Irish rugby team beat the Wallabies 26-21 at rugby, and Aussie WBO welterweight champ Jeff Horn got his butt kicked and his title stolen.

Never mind, they're still world champions at Aussie rules.

And let's not forget Aussie Eddie and his spectacular failures with the England rugby team in South Africa. He will be flicking through Seek as we speak.

I Goldsmith, Bureta.