Ukuleles, ukuleles, ukuleles, I'm being buried by a national infatuation with ukuleles.

Maybe it's just me, maybe I'm simply in the wrong place at the wrong time and the world beyond the portals of the Watusi Country Club remain unafflicted by this barrage of four-string strumming. When you're in the eye of a hurricane it's hard to
tell what is occurring outside
the storm.

But it seems that nearly everyone I know – and most specifically nearly all the women I know – have become enamoured (an unkind soul might say obsessed) with the joys of the flailing uke.

I was chatting with Marion Arts recently, who, along with singing and guitar duties in gypsy jazz duo Bonjour Swing, teaches guitar. And, it turns out, now ukulele. You gotta do what the market dictates she said (though that sounds more like Don Brash than Marion: she was far more nuanced in her analysis).

And, sure enough, the ukulele is everywhere. Dave Roy brought in ukulele players to help out on his new album; they're becoming almost acceptable at folk club nights. I've even heard their lilting drone on today's mainstream pop hits.

Is it fair to blame the Wellington Ukulele Orchestra (WUO) for this? I like to think so. Someone needs to be blamed and, as a target, they have the advantage of being some distance away. At the very least they represent the largest collective gathering of ukulele players I've so far had the misfortune to see at one time in one place. That they manage to combine cuteness of presentation with musical inventiveness has fooled many a person into accepting the ukulele
as a relatively valid means of self expression.

It's the same as the theory of line-dancing, which is roughly that the more people you get doing it the less silly each individual will seem.

Actually, I don't really mean to knock ukulele players. Playing any instrument, however slight (and the ukulele certainly fits that description), is better than playing no instrument. And I kinda liked the WUO when they first emerged with a few novelty tunes. It's fresh and funny to hear classic rock played by massed ukuleles – or massed anythings for that matter. I have a couple of recordings by kazoo orchestras (and, yes, a couple does seem to be one too many…). In my defence, hearing massed kazoos playing ‘Whole Lotta Love' or ‘Walk on the Wild Side' is a pretty fun experience, just as it would be on ukulele.

On the other hand, once you hear your 50th song ‘amusingly' rendered by massed ukuleles, the joke wears a little thin.

What I find fascinating is that music stores in New Zealand appear to be absolutely incapable of taking advantage of this Uke Boom. In fact, aside from the little soprano ukes (the ‘pingiest', thinnest sounding, albeit cheapest types), it's damn near impossible to buy a ukulele.

In fact, they come in a bewildering array of varieties, from concert ukes to tenors to baritones, and those are just the basics. Yet in New Zealand, not just Tauranga, but even Auckland, you can't find a shop that stocks them. This would suggest a certain uselessness on behalf of the retailers. I know people who recently brought ukes back from Australia for friends after being unable to purchase them here.

And last week I was briefly in Singapore where I spotted a dedicated ukulele shop with the alarming name Ukulele Movement. Upon learning I was from New Zealand they were impressed – they were enamoured with the WUO and stocked all their CDs. They also had a bewildering assortment of ukuleles: all the regulars plus bass ukes, ‘banjo' ukes, ‘pineapple' ukes, 6-string ukes (two single strings and two ‘doubled' strings with octave intervals), 8-string ukes (four doubled strings to simulate a mandolin), electric ukes, dozens and dozens of the things. And they said they had another branch that was four times bigger…

So what is wrong with New Zealand? In a country mad about ukuleles you can barely buy them. Much as my ears are thankful for this state of affairs I can't help but think that budding ukuleleists are being ill-served by music retailers. And, in these hardened financial times, retailers are missing an obvious trick.