Not the News has been investigating the reports of increased human sightings in waters close to the beach around Tauranga, the Mount and Papamoa, and has received some astounding news from marine biologists, who have come up with a very basic communication system, to help them gain a better understanding of shark behaviour.

Using a system of nods and winks with tame Mako and Bronze Whaler sharks, which have then been released back into the ocean, they have established shark plans for a mass protest along the beaches this weekend, aimed at establishing just who has right of way along the coast.

‘It's incredible,' says a helpful Dr Sheila Blige, Head of Big Fish at the Bay of Plenty Polytechnic.

‘It's almost like they are human; getting upset over foreshore rights, moaning among themselves before getting a committee together, and then planning a protest.

‘It's very advanced behaviour.

‘Talking to their leader, which has been inspirational, (by the way he nodded and winked to me).

‘It's just, like, soooo unfair. The humans are like just arrogant, you know, cocky and that.

‘This is our medium, after all, it's where we perform Sheila darling.

‘I had no idea sharks could be so camp, so we really are learning a lot.'

Sheila went on: ‘Apparently they have been practising a routine for this Sunday morning at 11am when one group will use their gills to make a distinctive daaa dum, daaa dum, dum dum, dum dum, dum dum sound, while another group of Thresher sharks whack their long tails on the surface in a manoeuvre they call the ‘whacker'.'

Swimmers and surfers are advised not to go in the water while the protest takes place and sharks have been similarly warned not to over-estimate human intelligence.