Brian Rogers Rogers Rabbits www.sunlive.co.nz

This week the Rabbit performed a spectacular flip-flop on the flag. I know, I declared early in the process that we should retain Old Jack and the triple stars that are actually four.

That was before the emergence of a bunch of tossers jumping on the anti-change bandwagon and turning the whole saga into a political-personal vendetta.

After months of doggedly backing Old Jack, I finally succumbed to the mounting irritation created by the nasty side of the anti-change brigade and those who have attempted to turn the simple concept of choosing a flag, into character assassination.

So it was a sort of protest vote that I was ticked off enough to tick the box for a new flag. I get the feeling a lot of others out there are also sick of the politicising of the project. Objecting because they perceive the flag to be John Key's, therefore they'll bitch on till the cows come home. That sort of mindless petty politicking is the main reason I flip-flopped and ticked my support for change. Not to support PM Key, nor because the alternate flag knocks my socks off. But because the idiot protesters drove me to it. I simply don't care which flag the PM likes or dislikes. But I strongly object to protesters threatening, stealing, vandalising and general behaving like muppets to try to bully their way. I disassociate from that team.

Check the numbers

A few other considerations weighed in at the last minute, too. A well-presented article on the economic benefits to the nation of a flag change made perfect sense. If those numbers are right, it makes the grandiose spend-up on the campaign look like a half reasonable investment, after all.

Very little has been published on the gains in trade from a clearer national identity that a new flag should bring. It could be billions.

Those sort of tangible benefits have been lost in the woolly claptrap surrounding the flag debate. Benefits to trade and overseas earnings benefit all New Zealanders, increasing standards of living, employment and the country's wealth and wellbeing. If a new flag can do that, I'm sure the old diggers who fought and died under the Union Jack would've given their blessing.

And speaking of dying for the flag, it was pointed out by a wise old bugger this week that the English, milking our fervour for the Union Jack and fond thoughts of the Motherland, used Kiwis' misplaced sense of loyalty to send them to slaughter in the trenches. Then once the wars were over, Blighty turned her back on the colonies and jumped into bed with the Europeans. So much for loyalty.

But hey, all that is history and what matters now, is whether the majority want a change or not. Thankfully it will all be over soon, and the best thing we can do is agree to get behind whichever rag wins, and strive for some national unity under it.

Language ticking off

A side issue emerging from the referendum is the OTT attention to political correctness.

Again, the PC-driven bureaucracy offers the flag referendum instructions not only in English and Maori, but in 24 different languages…including a couple I've never even heard of.

Now I will apologise to my Burmese, Farsi and Tagalog friends, but if you can't understand enough English to satisfactorily understand how to vote (pick a flag, tick it) you should not be taking part in any election or referendum. It is simply nuts to expect anyone without a grasp of the nation's language to know the first thing about the issues and debate that has been underway.

Learn the language or stay away. If you don't learn the lingo, you cannot comprehend the discussion.

As a foreigner in the dark, you can't possibly hold a sensible view on issues, particularly anything as patriotic as a choosing a national flag.

Nitpickers

Meanwhile, regular RR correspondent Tyler T. Taarse has messaged the Rabbit Hotline on the issue of the flogged flag…and calling out the 'nitpicker” who decided it was necessary to specify which flag would be flown there.

Says Tyler: 'Regardless of your or my opinion on the NZ flag, I was stunned to read that a resource consent specified what flag could be flown on Tauranga's flagpole. I can understand that in a greatly regulated society such as ours a consent might have been needed for the actual erection of this pole, but for flying a specific flag…hmmm?
'As far as I'm aware there are currently no rules surrounding what colour undies Rogers might choose to hang on his washing line, but maybe there should be when it comes to their shape and decency?

'Anyway this got me thinking that if Tauranga has a silly rule demonstrated by a silly resource consent over which flag can fly, what other silly rules might we have?
'I also thought what kind of nitpicking jobsworth decided to include a specific flag in the resource consent in the first place?”

Good question, Tyler. I suspect the Elizabeth St flagpole rule was intended to avoid pressure from any other group wanting to fly their particular flag, (such as the Tagalog crew) the easy answer was to stipulate the ‘national flag' and fair enough.

Remember, the flag debate was not heard of, at the time of Tauranga's roundabout flag installation. However silly rules abound everywhere, some were a good idea by well intentioned lawmakers of the time.

So we'd like to hear from readers, tell us the silliest rules you've ever heard.
The internet is awash with strange laws and urban myths.

Here's some doozies

Some of course are old laws that have long since been scrapped, but there are still some doozies.

In the UK it's illegal to die in Parliament House. Karate films were banned in Iraq in 1979. It's rumoured that In Canada, by law, one out of every five songs on the radio must be sung by a Canadian; and in British Columbia it is illegal to kill a Sasquatch or Bigfoot if one is ever found.

In some states of Australia it is still illegal to hurt a homing pigeon. And fair enough, too. Why should Bigfoot get all the protection?

Apparently it's illegal to be in possession of more than 50kg of potatoes in Western Australia. That's a law from 1946 and is being re-peeled.

Many countries have laws forbidding the disruption of weddings and funerals.
It's reported that in Paraguay, dueling is legal just as long as both parties are registered blood donors. I guess the wedding didn't work out?

The interweb also reckons that in New Zealand it's illegal to fly with a rooster in a hot air balloon. I guess that law was intended to reduce cock-ups. At RR headquarters we don't believe that story. We're going to take our rooster and do a fly-by of the Police station to see if they arrest us.

Send us your silly rules to brian@thesun.co.nz

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