Gwyn Brown Deputy Rabbit www.sunlive.co.nz

Let me just state for the record that I have real psychic powers.

I am also a little on the short side, although at one time my family used to be giants, but that's because my great great great, probably another 30 greats, grandmother's donkey spat in the eye of the village witch doctor... true story, unlike much of the following unfortunately.

‘Sensing Murder' has hit our TV screens again so I thought I would join in, have a go, maybe get myself a real job.

The ‘Sensing Murder' psychics are all, without exception, fakes.

Not one of them has ever solved a murder, or found a dead body, or been useful in anyway. The only thing they are good at is fleecing your money.

Those who prey on people who are at their weakest are the lowest of the low. What do they think when they make up messages from your departed? What kind of person can actually do that with a clear conscious?

You know it's amazing what you can make people believe just by picking up on their body language. If you don't believe me, go to YouTube and watch a guy called Derren Brown. Now he is truly amazing. He could be a psychic, you could believe he was, if he didn't tell you how he does the things he does.

‘Sensing Murder' did an episode on Jane Furlong, where the ‘psychics' predicted she would be found under an Auckland building site. Two years later Jane was found at Port Waikato, 100km away from where she was ‘said' to be. How terrible for her family to have their hopes built up by a ‘psychic' and then have that hope dashed and all their lies revealed for what they really are.

Digging holes

Some of you may remember when they managed to dig a few holes at McLaren Falls Park in 2006 where they said Luana Williams would be found... yep, nothing.

One of the team regulars, Sue Nicholson, has worked on more than 14 criminal cases as part of ‘Sensing Murder', and hasn't provided a single lead that has amounted to anything. Wait, I tell a lie, she has apparently according to her webpage, but due to the nature of what she discovered, it has to be kept confidential for the sake of the families. Another true story of a real psychic event.

Kelvin Cruickshank and Deb Webber are the other regulars. In 2004, Australia's Channel 7 broadcast a hidden camera episode where Deb Webber was caught on film ‘contacting' people who didn't exist. You can make out of that what you like, but my advice would include words like ‘fake' and a few more.

Prize unclaimed

Stuart Landsborough, owner of Wanaka's Puzzling World, has publicly offered the ‘Sensing Murder' team, including their production team, and any other self-professed psychic, a prize pool of thousands of dollars if they can prove their abilities. The money is still unclaimed. There are many other such prize pools of money available for anyone that can prove they have psychic abilities… all unclaimed. Well, so far. Wait, maybe I can get my hands on some of it if my prediction comes true.

Now, I get the sense of closure aspect. It would be nice to imagine our departed smiling down on us, to think about them having gone on to a better life. I don't believe that's true, you only get one life, but I know some people do believe it, and that's fine.

If it brings a sense of closure to you, then who am I to poo-poo the idea. But for someone to make money out of people's need to have that closure by lying, is abhorrent.

If they really had those powers, why not simply tell you? Why charge you money? If they truly had powers and were finding bodies all over the place, Police departments would have them on their payroll earning gazillions because that would be cheaper than real working cops.

You don't see faith healers working in hospitals for exactly the same reason you don't see psychics finding all the missing bodies.