Laura's screening with Laura Weaser

Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part One. Out on DVD now.

Let me first address an important bias that may influence this review.

1) I despise to my core the idea of Twilight, everything associated with it and the way it makes teens to grown women crazy.

BUT, as a film reviewer, it is important to see films from all walks of life, both sides of the coin and be as helpful to potential viewers as possible.

So I will try my best on this piece of utter rubbish.

Life as a teen bride to a vampire is not all it's cracked up to be for Bella (Kirsten Stewart) and Edward (Robert Pattinson).

To Twilight's credit, the first film was not bad because it was truly just like any other kind of teen fiction: extended glances across the science room, prom night, and the fact the love of your life happens to be a vampire. Throw in some half-decent acting and it was really enjoyable. It even convinced me to read the first book (Admittedly, I gave up after skim reading about 30 pages).

As the films have gone on, changed hands and actresses (fatal mistake), the films have become worse and worse, and from what I understand die-hard fans are beginning to turn up their noses too.

Breaking Dawn focuses on Edward (Robert Pattinson) and Bella (Kirsten Stewart) solely, as Bella moves from newlywed to nearly dead, in a matter of weeks. Somehow pregnant with Edward's mutant-vampire baby, Bella's body cannot handle the baby as it begins to kill her from the inside out. A choice needs to be made – will Edward at last turn her into a vampire much to the dislike of her closest friend (and a werewolf) Jacob (Taylor Lautner)?

Ignoring the fact the storyline is ridiculous, especially when she doesn't want to do anything to help herself, the film is ill-crafted and leaves the viewer feeling awkward, uncomfortable and potentially bored.

In the filmmakers defence, I feel like there wasn't enough quality material to work with to warrant being split into two. The ‘cliff-hanger' at the end left me feeling safe and secure away from the edge.

As a result this film, focused on Bella's whinging, whining, suffering and stupid decisions for two hours. That, and an extravagant lead up to an over-hyped sex scene.

With the film focusing on Bella, you would think she would have more of an impact or a presence, but once again Kirsten Stewart does her same routine. Stewart amps up the pouty-sulky-teenager thing she has going on with even more lip biting and obnoxious whinging. Even as she walked down the aisle, as beautiful as she looked, she looked like she was being dragged to the altar against her will.

Robert Pattinson (who I don't understand the obsession with) was ousted a bit more than usual in this film, but in the moments he was around, he undying love confession felt wooden, forced and at times, moderately creepy. I still find it weird the guy can just climb up and sneak in her room. If anyone else did that, they would be filing for a restraining order.

The first image of ‘that' sex scene. Totally anti-climactic.

One thing about this film that attracted headlines before its release was, just how hot was the sex scene going to be? This was a highly-anticipated moment – Bella's first time is quite a big deal in the book and the film studios leaked image after image that hinted at the sex.

But like any first time, the sex scene was overrated, anti-climactic, and disappointing. Dramatic music tried to conjure up some kind of emotion, but just left me skipping through the DVD. What was worse was Bella making the weirdest faces when she remembered the way Edward touched her. It felt like we were reading someone's diary, and not in a good way.

Like I said, I'm not a Twilight fan but I can admire the merits in it for those that do love the series. However, the cold light of day has finally broken on this saga, and the cracks in the quality are beginning to show. Let's hope Part Two has more in store.