Brian Rogers Rogers Rabbits www.sunlive.co.nz

Christmas wouldn't be the same without a multitude of warnings from various people, hell-bent on making sure we have a safe and happy festive season. Including me.

These days, no one is allowed to hurt themselves, even if you have fun doing so. Here we have the RR guide to staying safe this summer. There will be a fair number of you who have already fallen by the wayside – either slipped on the way to the mailbox to get this paper or choked on your toast or spilled hot coffee down your boardies before you even got this far through the column.

Others will last a smidgeon longer, before succumbing to the barrage of threats that lie in wait for you out there.
St John have a lot of sensible advice for us.

Dr Tony Smith says, 'We often attend to people who have tripped over electric heater cords and their dressing gown cords. We also see lots of people who have fallen off ladders and slipped over on garden paths”.

RR advice here, is don't be led up the garden path by anyone with a dressing gown cord.

He says simple ways to prevent falls include mopping up spills, climbing ladders safely, cleaning paths that are slippery with moss and leaves and putting a light on when you go up or down the stairs.

So if you make it past the stairs and the dressing gowns, don't think you're safe yet – murphy is cooking up something more.

Christmas also presents a number of fire risks, according to Wormald advice from…wait for it…and we're not making her name up… Danielle Reckless.

I wonder if she's related to Gay Abandon?

If her cousin married Danielle, would they be the Reckless-Abandons?

Anyway, Ms Reckless reckons we can prevent fires ruining our holidays.

Barbecues
• Be aware of fire restrictions that such as total fire bans.
• Keep the barbecue monitored whilst lit.
• Once the food is cooked and served, turn off the gas bottle and let the remaining gas in the pipe run through the barbecue before shutting it off.
• If a gas leak should occur, shut off the cylinder immediately and allow any gas to dissipate. Remember that LPG is flammable, (no s*** Sherlock?) heavier than air and may remain in the air for some time.

Cavorting with nature
If you survive the home environment, don't think you're out of the woods. Because we know some of you are going into the woods.

Cavorting with nature is fraught with danger. Tell someone where you are going. Take a jacket, hat, appropriate footwear, food and drink. Check the weather and have some communication. Remember that cellphones don't always work in the hills.
Check out the excellent advice at www.mountainsafety.org.nz/
• Bee stings
Remove the sting quickly – within seconds if possible. The speed of removal is more important than the method of removal. Check the bee for a pulse. If it's still alive, swat it, out of spite.

Doo, doo…doo doo…
Then, just when you thought it safe to go back in the water…
St John again, on jellyfish stings:

• Jellyfish stings rarely cause significant harm, but they do cause severe pain that may last for an hour or more. Pain is not an indication to go to a doctor, unless it is very severe and persisting for a number of hours.
• Flush sting area with water and gently remove the tentacles if still present. Avoid excessive rubbing of the tentacles.
• Putting vinegar on the sting won't help, however, it is not harmful.
• If hot water is available, put the sting area in hot water (as hot as the patient can stand without burning) for 20 minutes. A hot shower is ideal.
• If hot water is not available and there is significant pain, apply an ice pack.

Crocodile attack
If you think you've been bitten by a crocodile in New Zealand, it's time to stop drinking. You've probably overdone the eggnog. It may just be that vicious dressing cord coming back for another lash.

Christmas porkies
The humble ham proved the undoing for some Kiwi cooks last Christmas, with several claims accepted by ACC for ham-related injuries.

Among the accidents recorded for the last December 25 were ham-carving mishaps and burns, neck and knee strains from carrying heavy hams and a finger crushed by ham toppling from its stand.

Of 3040 injury claims for Christmas day injuries, the majority were the result of active Kiwis al fresco. Frisbee throwing, fishing, playing swingball, riding the slippery slide, trampolining, scooter riding and pool-side frolics all got a mention.

A large son-in-law tackled a little too enthusiastically during a family rugby game, exuberant bouncing on a new pogo stick which left its rider with upper leg injuries and fancy festive footwork which resulted in a few dance-related injuries.

For others it was the company of friends and family that ultimately proved injurious. One person laughed so hard they fainted, fell into the garden hitting their head, another sustained injury while napping after lunch when an intoxicated person stood on their face; and a dislodged jewel stone inadvertently ended up on the menu and broke a diner's tooth. The jewel stone was never recovered.

The cost of treatment, rehabilitation and compensation for all Christmas day injuries 2010 is $2 million to date.
Be careful out there.