Brian Rogers Rogers Rabbits www.sunlive.co.nz

No sex please, you're in Matua.
No Burqa please, we're from France.
No sad faces please, we're English.
No gays, thanks, we're Labour.

These are some of the stand-out news events of the week. SunLive brought readers the story of the Matua prostitution house, which has a lot of locals huffing and puffing.
There was never much sex in Matua when I was there. It seems things have changed. The SunLive story raised a good amount of stiff debate and climaxed with more than 40 comments on SunLive. It's great to see locals embracing the SunLive website in ever-increasing numbers and taking the opportunity to comment on local issues. Another way to get a load off…your chest.
A mate of mine lives near Matua and he reckons the prostitute has her work cut out for her. 'She'll be doing well to get anyone to actually pay for it.”
He says he's always found the locals quite friendly.
'Matua has always been kind to me.”

Premature exclamation:
Speaking of screwed, one MP has nearly shafted his own political career with a couple of comments. Outspoken Labour list MP Damien O'Connor has been saying what a lot have suspected – that his party is run by a ‘gaggle of gays and self-serving unionists'.
He's since apologised and tried a last minute withdrawal. But it has brought the spotlight on a party with an over-representation of oddball sexual orientations.
Maybe a few, here and there, wouldn't hurt, but the NZ public and some Labour stalwarts are clearly not comfortable with the sheer number who have represented us, or aspire to, in parliament.
You only have to cast your mind back to the nine years of 'talk like a man” Helen's rule and think about some of the kinks in power; from transsexuals to homosexuals to some pretty weird concoctions in between. No wonder some of the younger generation are having trouble distinguishing what is normal.
Internationally, France has banned the wearing of burqa in public. Interesting move, from the country which prides itself on liberty and the freedom of individuals. Why you'd want to go in public looking like a walking letterbox is beyond me, but it would be culturally insensitive of me to question that.
I can understand the argument against burqa in court, security in banks and in cases requiring identification. But the France stance is based on purely social and cultural grounds – that seeing the face of others is the essence of their society.
Each to his own. Some people are so ugly that in their cases, burqa should be compulsory.

Meanwhile ...
The English are trying to get a happiness campaign off the ground.
This will never work because the country is still full of whinging poms.
The rest of the world will be happier if they just stay there.
Back in Nuzzilon, there's a similar campaign going down in Marlborough, offering one-way air tickets to Australia to negative people.
Outspoken chef Chris Fortune is hitting out at critics of the local council, amid accusations of corruption.
Mr Fortune's words have an uncanny, familiar ring to the situation back home in Tauranga.
Of Marlborough, he says: 'You might be forgiven for thinking that we live in a town that is full of negative doom and gloom citizens, judged by the number of personality-driven media campaigns and puffery that is currently placed on the Marlborough District Council.
'Our present and past council staff and councillors fronted by Mayor Alistair Sowman have done an outstanding job of representing our region, the assets that we have now and the infrastructure that we want for our children. They gather all the facts, make decisions based on these and they move towards the future.
'The majority of negative people have half the facts, are personality driven and keep pulling things backwards and sideways and are the first to preach a undemocratic society or that they are exercising their democratic right depending on what side of the fence they are standing on today.
'I will personally contribute to a one way air-ticket to Australia, to those negative people that feel that they are hard done by here in Marlborough. Part of our role as community citizens is to support the people who put themselves forward into the position of governance, right or wrong, they have all of the facts and work in all of our best interests…To redeem your 'I am a Negative B**** ' voucher for your one-way air ticket, send a self addressed envelope to PO BOX 991, Blenheim.”
Here in Tauranga, I know a few people who could join the flight.
Or take a drive out to Matua. I hear there's a lady out there who, for a small fee, could put a smile back on their face. Even better, there's apparently some who will do it for free. Now there's a happy ending.