Diesel Rogers Dining with Diesel www.sunlive.co.nz

It's a well documented fact, (until someone ate the document) that Labradors will eat anything.

It's also well known, that puppies will chew anything.

So when you combine a Labrador with youthful exuberance, you basically have a walking waste disposal machine.

Thinking back to my younger years, my family got off pretty lightly. There weren't many things that I managed to destroy. Probably because I was fortunate in my youth to be with the boss all the time, particularly in the first six months when he was working from home.

It meant that most of the time I wasn't left alone to make my own entertainment. I had a captive audience right there, ready for a game at my beck and call. I guess if I'd been cooped up for the working day, there may have been a lot more mayhem.

I know of a lot of my colleagues though are legendary for consuming anything from kitchen appliances to the meter reader's lunch. Drop me a line with your special stories of puppy or doggie misdemeanour and any photos to share.

However I digress. For a while now I've been documenting the time taken for certain objects to be destroyed or consumed, in the interests of scientific research.

It all started when the boss discovered that I could devour a dry weetbix in four and half seconds.

Dry weetbix: 4.5 seconds

Wet weetbix: 2 seconds

Windfall avocado: 45 seconds

Tree-sourced avocado (allowing time for selection and picking): 90 seconds

Vortex: 30 seconds

Frisbee: 180 seconds

Tennis ball: One bite

Homework: 4 minutes

Maths text book: 15 minutes

Small electrical appliances (shavers, cellphones, TV remotes): 90 seconds

Large electrical appliances (mains powered): 180 seconds

Shoes: 4 minutes

Slippers: 3 minutes

Jandals: 30 seconds

Flying insects: 0.5 seconds

Some of these times may vary, depending on the vicinity of the water bowl and the amount of accompanying slobber required for complete breakdown.

DO NOT try this while any appliances are plugged in.