One again, my imagination took over when I saw the news that our navy warship had encountered a 'rust bucket number of ships” illegally fishing for toothfish in a restricted area in the Southern Ocean. My mind played out this scene:

No. 1 to Captain: 'We have them cold sir and at our mercy. Those pictures we sent have been verified by Television One and Facebook. They are illegal 'rust buckets” fishing illegally. Also further information says that our average wage on this warship is between $30,000 and $40,000 per year and theirs is only $300 to $400 per year”.

Captain: 'Great No. 1. Whose flag are they flying?”

No. 1: 'Some South African country named Gabon”.

Captain: 'Good grief. That's an oil-rich country in South Africa, and with New Zealand only just on the Security Council, and a possibility that the big oil companies are shareholders in those ships, and our difficulty is that the five metre swells in the ocean will keep us two to three days away from boarding them, we are close to a difficult decision”.

No. 1: 'May I point out that we have only one days extra fuel aboard sir.”

Captain: 'Brilliant.”

No. 1: 'Answers like that in extremely stressful situations will put you in line for a Good Conduct Medal. We will head home for New Zealand and refuel and get extra fuel, and with luck Murray will be back in government and he can make the historic decision”.
The first mate heard this as the Captain and the No. 1 officer left the bridge.
'Are you sure they are fishing and not really searching for oil deposits.”

Rex O'Connor, Tauranga.