The country was shocked to learn this week of Girl Guide plans to break the world record for the longest bra chain.
This idea raises more questions than it answers. Whatever happened to selling biscuits?
Should our demure young women fling their undergarments around in public? It's just not seemly. It has taken quite a lot to get my head around the subject of girl guides and bras in the same phrase.

Perhaps because we've been conditioned, through years of scorn and batterings, to avoid making that conscious connection.
When I was a young lad, occasionally my mind would drift to the subject of girl guides' bras. It was usually followed by a swift knee capping from the particular Girl Guide under scrutiny, who invariably had done both her 'How to Recognise Young Perverts” badge and her 'Hand-to-Hand Combat/ Trench Warfare” badge.
So if girl guides are running around with no bras, one would assume there will be a new badge for this – in fact two would be necessary – one for the left and one for the right. Otherwise we'd be seeing red over Brownies flashing their pinkies.
No, that can't be right. It just seems a very perplexing situation. I can't imagine that the community's attitudes to girl guides and their frilly smalls has changed that much, particularly in this PC-riddled world.
So assuming the girl guides are not whipping off their training bras, then the source of personal underwear items must be from some other, presumably more amply-busted, individuals.
Does this mean Brown Owl and Tawny Owl (and any other old hooters) are flying, shall we say, with their landing gear down?
All we can hope is that the scouts don't try to match the 'bra chain” idea. I don't think the provinces are quite ready for a string of jockey juniors.
Dan Carter has a lot to answer for.

Shocking news
Even more shocking news this week; it was revealed that Kate Hawkesby and her partner Mike Hosking were the victims of a burglary.
This is horrifying information. It left me pale and shaking. I'm sure the whole nation, upon hearing this, is asking the same question: What is a nice girl like Kate doing with him?
In other news, our page five story about Tim Taylor's plan to kayak around NZ took me back nearly 30 years, as I recalled Paul Caffyn's epic circumnavigations of the North Island, South Island, Australia and various major land masses. A fair number of the Kaimai Canoe Club turned up on the Mount Beach to welcome Paul when he arrived here. Back then, sea kayaks such as his rudderless Nordkapp were a fairly rare concept, unlike today when kayaks are at almost plague proportions!
Best of luck Tim, we will be watching with interest.

Don't forget mum
For those of you unaware, it's Mother's Day this weekend. You would have to have been living under a rock, or possibly born in a test tube, to not care about this.
Latest research has shown that nearly 100 per cent of people surveyed had a mother in their household at some stage. So this affects nearly all of us.
Research also points to fact that mums DO NOT want anything to do with housework, gardening or the car. Rather, they want pampering and family time. Apparently, only 30 per cent of men know this.
Check out the amazing Mother's Day ideas in this edition. And if you are a cheapskate, here's an idea for mother that will cost you nothing. Join her up for free on SunLive.co.nz, so she can get the hottest local news every day. It's the gift that keeps on giving, all year. She'll thank you for it.

Finally, if that doesn't work, consider this.
Apparently you can get Star Wars voices now for your vehicle GPS. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ljFfL-mL70)
There's nothing more inspiring than having Darth Vader breathing down your neck, announcing 'you have arrived at your destination” or 'at the next roundabout take the second exit.”
It must be just like driving with your mother in law.

Need more punishment?
RR columns and archives are available online at www.sunlive.co.nz Click on publications/The Weekend Sun/Rogers Rabbits.