Standing up against domestic violence

Frontline police spend 41 per cent of their time responding to domestic violence calls.

While we all know that most people are not violent, all it takes for bad things to happen is for good people to do nothing.

And too many of us must be doing an awful lot of nothing, says White Ribbon’s manager, Rob McCann.

“We currently have the highest rate of reported violence towards women in the developed world while our front line police officers spend 41 per cent of their time responding to family violence.

“It’s time for men to get off the side-lines and play a role in violence prevention.”

This November White Ribbon is asking people to ‘stand up’ by taking the online pledge and committing to take one of eight actions.

The eight actions offer people choices - to listen, reflect, alter their behaviour, talk to others and disrupt negative behaviour – which build respectful behaviour that undermines violence.

“Too often people think violence is just someone losing their temper, but research clearly demonstrates that violence is more about controlling behaviour and men’s socialisation. We know that promoting and understanding respectful relationships is a protection against violence.

“We can make a real difference if we stand up for our values. How many of us ignore the guy telling sexist jokes in the pub or look the other way when a friend is making derogatory comments? Too many! How many dads sit down with their sons and talk about what a respectful sexual relationship looks like?

“The answer is not enough. That is why we are asking men to stand up and get involved. We’re challenging men to take The Pledge, To stand up, speak out and act to prevent men’s violence towards women, and when they do, chose from one of eight options that help men take real action. Actions that women around the world have been asking for.”

If you’re looking for help on how to disrupt other men when they threaten or disrespect women, or want to know how to talk to your son about respectful relationships and porn, or how to intervene when men are threatening women, White Ribbon has a set of free Toolboxes on their website

Take The Pledge now.


New Zealand has the highest rate of reported violence towards women in the developed world.

Police investigated 118,910 family violence incidents in 2016 or about one every five minutes

That’s 41 per cent of a front line officer’s time

One in three women will experience partner violence at some point in their lives

Less than 20 per cent of abuse cases are reported

About 3500 convictions are recorded against men each year for assaults on women

On average, 14 women a year are killed by their partners or ex-partners

Between 2009 and 2015, there were 92 IPV (Intimate partner Violence) deaths. In 98 per cent of death events where there was a recorded history of abuse, women were the primary victim, abused by their male partner.

Family violence accounts for half of all reported serious crime


  • Men Stand Up and prevent violence towards women. Encouraging men to stand up and speak out and act to prevent violence towards women by taking The Pledge and committing to take one of eight specific actions.
  • Men back up their stand with real actions. White Ribbon supports men to commit to taking at least one of these eight actions to show their respect. They’re the right thing to do:
  • Listening and believing women
  • Reflecting on and changing their behaviour
  • Disrupting other men’s violence towards women
  • Treating women as equals
  • Choose how to be a man and how I will act
  • Talk to a young man about breaking out of the Man Box
  • Think about what they watch and the media they use
  • Talk with young men about respectful relationships and pornography
  • Men who stand up show they respect women.
  • Women have asked men to take these actions
  • Men’s respectful behaviour prevents violence.
  • Respectful relationships are based on: treating women as equals; choosing your own identities and behaviour to be your own man; using non-violent communication; and ensuring enthusiastic consent for sexual relationships. These actions prevent men’s violence towards women, and can make everyone, including the man, happier and healthier.





Posted on 16-11-2018 17:06 | By Slim Shady

Happy to admit I’m wrong based on that large sample. It seems Kiwi women are every bit as violent as Kiwi men. I have come across many belligerent Kiwi women who I wouldn’t mess with so apologies for blaming the men in particular. Violence does seem to be a way of life here.

Look at the stats Slim Shady

Posted on 13-11-2018 08:21 | By Bay Citizen

That’s some serious victim blaming there Slim Shady. Why not switch it round and suggest that women who are victims of violence somehow brought it on themselves? See how outrageous that sounds? Anyway, rather than just guessing about numbers, take a look at the statistics. There is some more information here . You may be particularly interested in the bit that quotes a NZ study which says "In New Zealand, the twenty-one year Dunedin Multidisciplinary Health and Development Study, published in 1999, reported that of their sample of 1,037 people, 27% of women and 34% of men reported being physically abused by a partner, with 37% of women and 22% of men reporting they had perpetrated IPV"


Posted on 12-11-2018 17:10 | By Slim Shady

I bet you could count on one hand the number of women who commit domestic violence against men, who haven’t themselves been subjected to either violence, bullying, threats or psychological abuse FIRST. What’s up Citizen, don’t like them fighting back? Or maybe you do, but only in the bedroom? Alarms bells.

OK, but...

Posted on 12-11-2018 14:43 | By Bay Citizen

Unfortunately, this piece takes the usual garbage feminist line regarding domestic violence which is seriously flawed in several ways 1) Not once is female violence towards men mentioned. Reading this, you’d think that the violence was all one way when the evidence shows that men suffer domestic violence from women almost as much. (They just don’t do as much physical harm). 2) Domestic violence has been conflated with domestic abuse such as controlling behaviour. Neither are acceptable behaviours, but let’s not pretend that control equates to violence. 3) The requirement creeping in for "enthusiastic consent" in sexual relations. No, the law says merely consent. Requiring enthusiasm is subjective and unrealistic. 4) The implication that pornography is bad or causes domestic violence. Wrong. It is normal and natural. It’s also funny how pornography aimed at women always gets a free pass despite presenting equally unrealistic scenarios like in 50shades.

World leaders

Posted on 12-11-2018 11:15 | By Slim Shady

Put this alongside child abuse rates and bullying rates, both of which NZ excels in, and it appears that NZ men in particular have a problem.

Leave a Comment

You must be logged in to make a comment. Login Now