The Father's Day presents are long gone.

The Thorlo running socks were pulled on long past their use-by date – if only to show the kids their present was appreciated. The golf balls lie deep in the lily pond at South Head and the Cadbury Roses have been scoffed.

I hated chocolates but the kids were smart enough to know it gave them a stake in my Father's Day present.

And there was the card. The ubiquitous home-made card. It was made in the wee girl's bedroom behind closed doors and a ‘don't come in' sign. That was an invitation to be annoying. 'Can I come in now?”, 'No!”, 'I'm coming in now.”, 'Don't you dare!” She was a stroppy wee thing, knew her mind; put her in good stead to face life's difficulties.

Anyhow the card was a cracker – no money, no present could have brought a dad such delight.

Centre stage on the blue card with the bold silver ‘Dad' was a cut out of Wallace of Wallace and Gromit notoriety. He was a favourite flavor in our house. Bald, big ears, bug eyes, buck teeth a bad dress sense – I didn't look anything like him although it worried me the kids thought I did. Surrounding Wallace were cut-outs of a beer carton, wine bottle, a dunny, crossword clues, and the words, ‘Sky Sport 1', ‘jazz/blues' and ‘golf'. All things dear to this dad it seems. What an appalling impression they must have had.

‘To Dad aka Mr Flab' it reads. 'I get up in the morning and yours is the first face I see, though it's not always a pretty sight. Your cheeky grin cheers me up and I am lucky to have a nice, loving, funny father. Love you soooo much xoxoxo.”

And from the boy. 'I have no idea how I can write something better than that. So all I am going to say is that I love you dad and I am lucky to have you as a dad. This is pretty cheap but it will have to do. Hahaha.”

So to all of you who hide behind the notion that Father's Day is some gigantic commercial conspiracy, think again. Twenty years later the card still brings on a surreptitious tear. I don't recall making too much of a contribution to the upbringing of my two greatest-ever gifts but I must have done something right. And I still have the card.