SHARKTOPUS (****)
Dir: Declan O'Brien. Starring: Eric Roberts, Sara Malakul Lane, Kerem Bursin
What with Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus and Mega Shark Vs Crocosaurus we're surfing a new wave of large killer seafood films. But is the world really ready for Sharktopus?
Said giant beastie is an experimental US navy weapon – of course it is: this is clearly just what navies have been crying out for – but, accidents being accidents, it's less than 10 minutes before they've 'unleashed an eight-legged man eating shark on the world”.
The world in question largely comprises Mexican holiday beaches where nubiles are enthusiastically chomped on. There's also, of course, an intrepid journalist chasing the story and the team of scientists who created it trying to find a solution.
This is gloriously bad in a cheesy 70s way, so much so that it is often hard to tell which bits are deliberately funny and which are merely incompetent. But yet this is streets ahead of the two exploitation cheepies previously mentioned: it comes from the legendary producer Roger Corman, it's a real film, and Eric Roberts is in it!
Meanwhile the acting, dialogue and special effects skirt a line which may possibly make intoxicated brains explode with the gleeful absurdity of it all. From the opening Jaws homage to the completely bonkers finale, there's rarely a dull moment. If you only watch one giant sharktopus movie this year, make it this one. C'mon, you know you want to...

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