He was fully fledged Black Power, he was violent, 'beat on his missus” and had serious alcohol and drugs issues.

And 'no” he couldn't talk to SunLive right now because he was babysitting – minding the grand-daughter. The paradox is not lost.

Rowena and Phil, married for 38 years.Photo: Tracey Stevens.

The lapsed gangster is now also advising kids on lifestyle choices; he is marrying people and burying them; he is a celebrant and the woman he 'beat on” is now his wife of 38 years.

'We are still in love.”

The story of Phil Paikea's redemption will become a story of inspiration and hope at the Rangiuru Rugby Club in Te Puke tonight. And it'll be one of New Zealand's biggest social issues rather than super rugby on the agenda.

'Phil can help change New Zealand for men and women so children grow up in safe environment,” says Tauranga Moana Abuse Prevention Strategy coordinator Heather Beddie.

Reporting of abuse in Te Puke is no better or worse than any other town. 'But that doesn't mean we can't improve attitudes and behaviours; and we can certainly learn from the experiences of someone like Phil Paikea. We are very fortunate to have him.”

The Phil Paikea story is raw and powerful.

'Some of my friends would smash a woman like they would smash a man. I was never like that but at the same time I do not want to minimise my offending. I did lay a hand on my partner, I did beat on her. Abuse is abuse.”

And there was the mental torment. 'I would drive my car flat tack to scare the hell out of her and overtake on corners. I was an arsehole mate.”

He met Rowena when she was just 17. But even when she was pregnant with his child she decided a gangster, his violence and his substance abuse would not figure in her future.

'She waited til I was locked up on a serious assault charge and fled – even though I threatened to kill her.” The abuse went on from behind bars.

Then as he sat on the edge of a bunk in a holding cell his partner's words resonated. 'If you don't change, I will leave.”

The late District Court judge Rutherford Paul gave Paikea a break, with the warning that if he ever appeared before him again 'prison would be his future”.

'It didn't make any sense to me to go to prison.”

So he did his periodic detention and chased his partner to Christchurch. She wasn't immediately forgiving. 'Whenever I got into trouble I would make promises that I would not keep.” And again, she was reluctant to allow him back into her life.

But he got a job, an honest one this time and mixed with positive people. 'She saw a smidgeon of change and gave me a break too.”

Again he doesn't want to make excuses, but he does want to explain. 'I was a victim of abuse and then the victim became the perpetrator.”

Some years later Phil would attend and speak at the funeral of the man who spared him. 'I should have gone to jail. My crime warranted it. So I wanted to Rutherford Paul's family to know he had given me my chance; that I had used it to good advantage and he was a good man.”

'This was a family which was used to people s******g on their husband and father. Criminals were never going to say nice things about someone who sent them to prison.”

Not long after, a Pakeha kid would drop by Phil's whare at Ruakaka in Northland. It was the judge's son Cameron, thanking the reformed gangster for his kind words.

Soon after the judge's wife would also drop by the Paikea whare. She would bring Phil pickled onions, a banana cake and a $1000 cheque because she was so moved by his words and didn't quite know how to thank him.

Paikea would remind her that: 'Rutherford Paul was a good man”.