The boss has been trying to teach me the difference between left and right.
It's been slow going, because I just can't get the hang of this twolegger language. As my friend Tim Finn says:
Don't move to the left, don't move to the right, just follow that straight old line.”

The boss keeps telling me after dinner time, when I insist that I'm still hungry, that there is none LEFT.
I just don't know what he means.
Then, when I go to the cat's bowl to see if he's got any LEFT the boss growls at me and says that taking the cat's dinner isn't the RIGHT thing to do.
This leaves me quite confused. It might be all right for them with only two legs, left and right, but us hounds have to contend with FRONT and BACK as well.
He's quite often telling me to get BACK, especially when I'm hanging around the barbecue. And often asks me what I'm doing in the FRONT seat, and to get in the BACK.
Oh dear. It gets really puzzling when he says, 'Have you done your column this week?” and I shake my head quizzically and he says 'well you'd better go and WRITE it then.”
At which point I've got thoroughly confused, put my handsome nose out the dog flap and LEFT.
Well I must be off and get the boss sorted for the opening of the shooting season next weekend. I hope all you twoleggers out there have got yourselves sorted, cleaned guns, fed the decoys and have your licences.
Just making sure, as us canines bred for the wild do not mind (well I do, I want to sit in front of the fire) jumping into the cold water to retrieve the odd duck. I say odd, because they're the only ones silly enough to get in range of our lot.
My mad cuzz Ady is just a ball of energy, and as soon as the boss gets the decoys out, she is just too much. This is a good thing as I can sit and watch her get wet and show everyone how well I have trained her.
Well now it's my good mate Johnny the Aussie Butcher time, and hope you all get to shoot into Gate Pa and check out all the great specials this week, he has a terrific range of meaty treats in store.

Spiced Roast

Ingredients
1.5kg bolar roast
3 Tbsp flour
1 tsp dry mustard
30g butter
3 rashers bacon, sliced
3 carrots, chopped
3 sticks celery, chopped
2 cups beer
¼ cup tomato puree
2 Tbsp horseradish
½ tsp black pepper

Method: Combine flour and mustard and rub over the meat. Heat butter in a large saucepan and cook meat on all sides until well sealed. Remove and stand. Add bacon, carrots and celery to pan and cook, stirring until bacon is crisp. Add remaining flour, stirring constantly until well-browned.
Pour beer into pan and stir until sauce thickens. Add tomato puree and horseradish and simmer two minutes. Add roast, cover and simmer gently for 75-90 minutes or until meat is tender.
Remove meat, slice and transfer to a serving plate. Keep warm.
Reduce sauce until thickened and pour over meat.