It's been another big news week. Including the realisation that the phrase 'Easy Tiger” has taken on a whole new meaning. As the body count rises, it appears that Tiger is, indeed, easy.

Which I guess is a good time to announce that Christopher Robin has also confessed to sleeping with Tiger. Although in his defence, he's adamant that he always understood it was pronounced 'Tigger.”
Which has raised all sorts of speculation in the newsroom of what other sordid deeds have been done in the house in Pooh Corner.
There are unconfirmed reports from Christopher Robin that Tigger is 'hung like Eeyore.”
Which brings us to the annual RR end-of-year awards. We are pleased to announce Tiger Woods, in a late charge, has pipped David Letterman at the post for the title 'Fornicator of the Year.”

Boeing, Boeing, Gone
In other news, there's a strange irony in all these do-gooders jetting around the world to Copenhagen to save the planet – at the same time clocking up huge amounts of the very carbon emissions they are preaching for the rest of us to limit.
Nobody should be going to Copenhagen. The meeting should be done by a telephone conference call.
That's because the carbon footprint of these thousands of would-be planet savers is about six tonnes of carbon dioxide each – in the case of a return flight from New Zealand.
While the Greens are nagging every man and his dog to jump on the next flight to Denmark, thereby each contributing more to carbon emissions than the average family creates in a year, at least our farm leaders have their feet firmly on the ground.
Federated Farmers are right on the button, saying they're doing their bit by saving the planet, one flight at a time.
They win the award for 'Most Commonsense Attitude of the Year” with these quotes:
'The fact is New Zealand acts globally by farming locally. Our farmers do far more good for the world by exporting 94 percent of everything we produce. Since 1990, we've dramatically slashed emissions growth per unit of food and fibre because we're good at what we do,” says president Don Nicolson.
Plus, they've taken a realistic view of what Copenhagen will actually be about:
'There's no point pretending the opening stanza of Copenhagen will be anything but a massive photo opportunity.
'Yet isn't it ironic, that everyone has to turn up at Copenhagen while the Global Alliance is a virtual research network. I know we need better broadband, but I can't help but ask if some of Copenhagen couldn't be done by video conference instead?”

Double standards
Meanwhile, the RR 'Futile Action of the Week” award goes to Copenhagen's City Hall which is claiming to be more eco-conscious this year with cyclists powering the Christmas tree lights. This, despite their sanctioning the jetplane stampede to their city!
Fifteen bicycles are connected to 700 bulbs hanging on the 17m tree. Each bicycle is connected to a section of the tree. If at any time a bicycle is not pedalled, the section connected to that bike will not light up. Any passer-by can volunteer to ride the bike and pedal for as long as they like.
So while they're busy with this nonsense, the City Hall has apparently turned a blind eye to the massive emissions consequences of the estimated 20,000 scaremongering Planet Warmers they've invited to the city. And not by bicycle!
Also this week, the RR award for 'Best Christmas Party of the Year” goes to the Te Puna Garden club, who held their festive knees-up at Althorp Village this week. The club members showed their class and style by inviting Rogers Rabbits as guest speaker. Thanks for a great afternoon.
As gardeners and propagators of endangered species, they were particularly impressed with the RR plan to promulgate mangroves in the Tauranga Harbour and are likely to be an integral part of this region's first Mangrove Farm.
We've identified a 560 hectare site off Matua. Resource Consent notifications will be advertised shortly, probably over Christmas when no one is taking much notice.
Watch this space.
Finally, The Award for 'Most Gallant Posing” goes to none other than Santa Claus, for going beyond the job description for his Weekend Sun Christmas cover photo shoot this week. All will be revealed in a week or so, but we commend the old guy for his tenacity, skill and sheer bravery in the pursuit of a great picture.

Parting thought:
Claustrophobic – the fear of being trapped inside a tight Santa suit.