It's been a testing week, here at Dog Intelligence Headquarters.

Not only has Ralph the cat been particularly tetchy lately, but we both had to repel a small invasion during the week that had both our hackles up and Ralph's front quarters swinging in all directions. And, for a moment there, we were united in our hour of need.
The fun started when the Bosses, heading home late one night after a long day in the office, eager to see their darling Labrador, were confronted on the dark, lonely country lane with a pair of gleaming, yellow beady eyes in the headlights, peering out of the blackness.
The eyeballs belonged to a small, energetic little bundle of trouble that we later found out was named Rackham.
Fearing that Rackham was in danger of being flattened, they ushered him to the roadside. But he had other ideas, and jumped into the truck.
They suggested he went home, by making shooing gestures and saying things like: 'Go home.”
Now that would have been pretty clear to me. But these terriers sometimes have comprehension issues.
So unable to keep the potential roadkill out of the vehicle, they took him a couple of blocks to home and made some phone calls. Meanwhile, I had my dinner (got to have priorities) and went about my nightly perimeter patrol of the estate. Rackham bounded along too, and then disappeared into the darkness.
We all went off to bed, thinking he'd headed home. But there was a commotion at 4am involving a rat, the cat and myself in that order. The Bossman came downstairs in his jarmies (ooh, not pretty) to check it out, opened the door, and the cat and Rackham came rocketing inside. In that order. No sign of the rodent. Wise rat.
So the Boss decided to detain the troublesome visitor in the laundry, with myself.
Now that seemed like a good idea at the time, but he was awoken rudely again half an hour later and arrived downstairs to find one small dog installed on my dog bed and myself evicted out the dog flap, sitting howling alone in the dark and eerie night.
Don't ask me how the little bugger managed to bully me out of my own bed – let's just say he's more like a terrorist than a terrier.
How a little punk a fraction of my weight can order me about, I'll never know. Maybe it's the loving Labrador nature that sees every dog smaller than us as a puppy, so we give in?
The next morning some more phone calls around the neighbourhood tracked Rackham's family and he was happily reunited. But not before Ralph offered him a couple of high fives from both front paws on the way out. Phew, it's nice to meet new friends, but it gets a bit much when they pinch your bunk and kick you out of your house.
Now on to my favourite part of the week, explaining my mate Johnny, the Aussie Butchers specials. I know he does not have a beef with me, like a few of the strays mentioned, but you guessed it, the old fellow has beef on special (at least it will not come with the attitude of Rackham) so be in folks and get your meaty treats for the weekend. Let's give this recipe a go.

'Roast bolar'

Ingredients
4 large potatoes, cut in half
3 carrots, 2 onions, sliced
3 cloves minced garlic
Beef stock

Method
Preheat oven to 160 degrees Celsius. Make incisions and place garlic pieces in the meat. Place meat in roaster with vegetables. Fill with enough beef stock to cover roast. Cook for 4-5 hours, check and turn roast every hour or so. Let stand 10 minutes before serving.

'Side Car'

Ingredients
1 ½ oz Cognac, ¾ oz Cointreau
¼ oz lemon juice

Method
Pour the ingredients into a cocktail shaker with ice cubes. Shake well, strain into a chilled cocktail glass.
Well folks, that's all from me this week, and I hope I see you shaking your booty down at my favourite watering hole, No. 1 The Strand, over the next few weeks. The Boss people have got some great music lined up and my mate Dazz and his mate Paulie in the kitchen are cooking up a storm. Great value.
These guys are good! See you all, and take care out there.