Debra Jager Home Instead Senior Care

Q. I think my mum is really lonely since dad passed away. She calls me all the time and I would love to spend more time with her, but I feel really pressured between the kids and my husband and work. What can I do to help her and take the pressure off me?

This is a common problem when someone loses their partner.

We all need our support networks, but sometimes as we get older they can slip away.

Talk to her friends and encourage them to visit, or maybe put on a lunch for them to help them reconnect.

Make a regular time to call her when you are less pressured, or catching up on a chore like folding the washing so you have time to chat, and try and invite her over once a week for a meal.

There are a number of groups out there which your mother can join which will provide her with support and friendship.

Recycled Teenagers (call Jennifer on 571 1411) is an exercise and friendship group which runs in different areas around Tauranga.

There are often friendship groups at churches, or ask at your local community centre for information on groups in the area.

Your mother may need some encouragement and support to attend before she is comfortable to attend on her own, so maybe take a couple of days off to take her to check them out.