Brian Rogers Rogers Rabbits www.sunlive.co.nz

We have some bad news for you this week. We've had to cancel summer.

It's not been an easy decision, but made necessary by lack of resources, namely heat. There's also been complaints about a shortage of calm, balmy days and rumours of low sea temperatures. Excessive wind has topped off the list of grumbles.
The committee offered to trade next Spring some of the wind in exchange for a few degrees of temperature, but this was turned down, citing some sort of historical disagreement between those seasons; due to summer running overtime in recent years; and spring being a bit miffed that summer this week used one of spring's late season snowfalls, without consultation.
Meanwhile, autumn and winter have conspired to 'spring” an early appearance, after spotting confusion in the seasonal market and seizing the opportunity to launch a merger, calling themselves 'Wintumn” and plan to roll in early in March with one long, cold season and hang around till next Labour Weekend.
Summer's shareholders have had enough and pulled their investment, packed up their tents (the ones that weren't blown over), and gone back to work to save for the Wintumn ski season instead.
Now the politicians are getting hot under the collar about the summer going AWOL.
United Future leader Peter Dunne wants a national petition to ask the country whether school summer holidays should be moved to start mid-February and finish in March.
Following a wet, cold January, Mr Dunne is reported as saying the motivation
for changing the summer holiday period was simple.
'For a country like New Zealand that prides itself on being an outdoors country, it's a bit silly to have a summer period when people can't go to the beach because it's too cold.” We sympathise with Mr Dunne. The wind must have played havoc with his hair.

Topping off
On the off-chance that summer does kick in, we'd like to ensure all our readers are suitably attired in creative hats. I've been a fan of hats ever since I got ears. Aside from shading the ears, hats are useful for keep them reigned in, to stop uncontrollable flapping in the incessant sou-westers.
Some important features of hats include a top and sides; lights in the front for night navigation and emergencies; chin straps to keep them in place during relentless sou-westers; and provision for accessories.

That may include fishing flies, flowers, bird feathers, solar fans and radiation deflectors.
So to celebrate the Bay's creative hat population, we're awarding ‘Hat of the Week' to the most novel and useful headgear.
This week's Featured Hat was seen downtown, atop a cruise ship passenger. He kindly allowed us to photograph the ingenious straw and foil reflector masterpiece. It also folds flat, for ease of transport and packing.
Send us your favourite hat photos. The best will be selected for Hat of the Week and we'll send you one of our Sun hats, to top off your day.
Email photos (hi res jpeg) to:
brian@thesun.co.nz and include your name, plus a few details and contacts.

Fifth largest
Tauranga has just been endowed with the title of New Zealand's fifth largest city, toppling Dunedin from the position.
I read this on the excellent SunLive daily news website. Based on population estimates, Tauranga has 128,200 bods, while Dunedin has clicked over 127,000 unfortunate souls.
In the last 20 years Dunners' inmates have increased by about 6200 while Tauranga's inhabitants have rocked up an extra 48,400. So we're either begatting at an exhausting pace, or we're not paying enough attention to the waifs and strays climbing over the city gates.
Popular belief is that the ‘Auckland effect' means a streaming influx of people relocating to escape traffic, crowds, rocketing real estate levels…so they came to Tauranga and now we have traffic, crowds and rocketing real estate levels.
This would be more appropriately named the ‘Jafaffect'.

Raise the drawbridge
Some people will tell you it's good for the region to experience growth. But there are some of us who know it isn't such a great idea, especially if the infrastructure isn't in place to cope with the growth.
It's clear that Tauranga isn't geared up for growth. Just take the Welcome Bay- Turret Rd case. Still a single lane each way, despite it being obvious for 50 years that Welcome Bay was going to go nuts.
The northern outskirts of Tauranga are heading the same way. We haven't learnt from half a century of head-scratching about how to expand the arterials in time to keep pace with the traffic.
So the only solution is to stop the influx. Convince people that Dunedin has better weather, wild natural beauty and a rockstar economy, warmer climate (fuelled by burning couches), and you can still get a free park right outside the shop you want to visit.
That our sun and sand is over-rated, causes skin cancer and a rash in your boardshorts. You'd be happier down south in your hipster pointy shoes and a splash of tartan, enjoying the cultural treasures of Dunedin's heritage and history.
One thing the burgeoning Tauranga population has done, is keep SunLive statistics climbing through the roof. At least the newbies arriving here have a great news service at their fingertips. And it's locally owned and operated.
See: www.sunlive.co.nz