When the electronic cards are being thrashed at the rate of 160 transactions a second this Christmas, ‘Tofi's Eftpos card will be sitting snug in her wallet.

Alongside her credit card. They will have hardly had an outing.

And when the country's Christmas spend explodes to more than $6 billion Tofi, as she's popularly known, will have made a minimal contribution to that blowout.

It's not because she's a grinch. 'It's because we can only just afford the food on our table and the roof over our head.”

But the genial Samoan mother-of-four can still manage a chuckle about her predicament. 'We can laugh even though it's a real struggle, even though it put so much stress on us.”

Laughter may be a medicine, but it's not the cure.

Hers is a story of hardship, but more a story of courage and common sense. And about seeking advice and financial planning. Have a plan and executing it is the cure.

'Because if Christmas sneaks up and you haven't planned, it becomes even harder,” says Rae at Tauranga's Budget Advisory Service. 'The pressure of Christmas can generate reckless spending. That's when people who can't afford it, resort to the credit card.”

And this steward of the purse strings makes her appeal. 'I implore you now. Don't do that.”

Tofi, her kids aged 15, 10, eight and three and Rae, who all wish to remain anonymous, have agreed to share their story to save others from Christmas's biggest hangover. Debt, unmanageable debt, the thumping red headache that engulfs so many of us in January and February after a Christmas of excess.

'It's about focusing on how much you want to spend at Christmas and how much you should spend,” says Rae. 'And it's about financial planning for all eventualities.

'Christmas is just another occasion you have to put money away for. Like running your car, the rent, the power, the food.”

And that's where Tofi's story kicks in. Because she wasn't reckless with money, she wasn't extravagant. Her circumstances changed drastically and tragically and she wasn't prepared.

'My husband was working at Tauranga Hospital but he became very ill and had to give up his job. And I had to give up my job as a cleaner to look after him.”

One minute it was a comfortable two-income family. 'We could always afford the shopping and even had holidays.”

Then it was scraping by on a benefit topped up by savings. 'We started getting behind with the rent, school expenses and a lot of bills,” says Tofi. But worse was to come.

Tofi's husband, Danny, a man whose standing in the Polynesian community was as big as his impressive physique, passed away suddenly.

It was crushing for Tofi. Her husband, her life partner, father of her children gone, aged just 46.

'My husband handled all of the family's finances. He did everything. He organised the kids' Christmas presents.” But Danny was gone.

'If the kids wanted something I would have to remind them Dad's not here anymore, it's just me by myself. Then they stop and look at the situation.”

Prayer managed to sustain this devout Christian woman. But she needed some practical solutions too. And with debt rising and savings draining Tofi went to Tauranga Budget Advisory Service.

'She just didn't know where she was going next,” says Rae.

The budget advisor knew where Tofi was going and immediately applied the handbrake.

'We have worked through quite a lot of the debt and Tofi's doing a summary instalment order at the moment.” The order is a formal arrangement with creditors to settle debt over time, normally three years.

'She's paying her debt that way and we have managed to reduce the debt by going for hardship through one of the banks.”

Tofi is learning fast. And so are the kids. But what about Christmas? What about that time of giving and joy?

'It's something to look forward for the kids. They won't get whatever they want, they are not expecting flash or expensive, but they will get whatever we can afford.” And she is willing them to be happy.

Again, says Rae, it's about providing for the eventuality.

Tofi has opened a Pak'nSave and Warehouse Christmas club accounts.

'The kids understand I am trying, I am doing the best I can. They are so amazing. They will appreciate whatever we can manage.”

Christmas is still 73 days away but the Tauranga Budget Advisory service message is – plan now to stay out of debt.

'Think long and hard about not using credit cards,” says Rae. 'Drip feed money into savings and Christmas clubs. Be prepared. Start discussions with the kids about their expectations. 'And if you can't afford it before Christmas you won't be able to afford it after Christmas. 'Don't buy it.”

This weekend there will be an unveiling. Tofi will honour the man who set the budgets, paid the bills and bought the kids' Christmas presents, the man who handled the family's finances – the responsibilities that now fall on Tofi.

'She's learning,” says Rae. 'And so are the kids.”

'Now I' just willing myself to be happy for kids at Christmas,” says Tofi.

And that might just be achievable because Tofi and her four children are in line for a Habitat for Humanity home. That's the organisation that offers people a chance of a simple decent home. The application is going well.

There's a tear on Tofi's cheek. It arrived when she spoke of Danny. It was joined by another when she talked about how well the kids were doing at school as they faced a second Christmas without dad.

Her 15-year-old, always Daddy's girl, told Tofi she just wanted to make her father proud.

A third tear is now fighting with a smile as a grateful Tofi talks kindly about her ‘new friend' Rae – the budget advisor who may have salvaged Christmas for this family.

The Weekend Sun will be talking to Tofi again before Christmas to see how their strategy is working.

For further information go to: htp://tgabudget.familybudgeting.org.nz.

Call Tauranga Budget Advice Service on 07 578 0969 or email: info@tgabudget.org.nz