'HULLO AUSTRALIA!!!! – anyone home?” Seems not – the world jingoism champions are strangely quiet.

Could it have something to do with 'the best cricketers in the world” being slapped around by Sri Lanka? They carped on about the spinner's wicket.

Could it have something to do with 'the best athletes in the world” winning a medal for mediocrity at Rio and slipping unnoticed back into the land of fewer opportunities? They resorted to talking up a medal in the archery.

Could it have something to do with a rugby team being skinned and boned last weekend? No excuses. A whole nation of cheer-leaders with nothing to cheer. Why do I not feel a shred of sympathy?

SC Hooner, Otumoetai.