Ship captains claim Earth moved

Earth scientists studying the after-effects of last year’s Japan earthquake, registering a 10 on the Richter scale, have discovered that the shifting continental plates have tilted the earth a little further on its axis. The result is a tiny, but measurable, alteration in time, distance and position in space.


Ships on the rocks - did the rocks move in the way?

The news didn’t surprise Tauranga resident Minnie Driver, who claims that her recent accident on Cameron Road was a direct result of her sat-nav being suddenly inaccurate.

“It’s been fine for ages, but since the earthquake it keeps telling me to turn about 25 metres before I get to the junction I want. True, I’ve met some interesting people, and surprised a few who were sweeping their drives, but this is clearly a new problem. I’ve spoken to makers Tim Tim, but they have investigated and blame lunchtime drinking. That’s scandalous, and probably only partly true.”

Other supposedly incompetent drivers have now come forward, and been joined by numerous other GPS users including trampers & boaties, many of whom have been hopelessly lost and branded as ‘stupid’ by emergency service staff.

They claim that GPS systems haven’t accounted for the shift in Earth’s position.

The captain of the Costa Concordia has claimed that the rock wasn’t on his chart.

The Rena’s master was surprised by the supposedly well-charted Astrolabe Reef, and both are now expected to claim that the ‘earth moved’ for them.

In other news not just in:

Teenage cricketers in spot-betting scandal

Complaints fancy dress hire shop ‘just a mickey mouse business’

Mount holiday park at rock bottom




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1 Comment

CJB

Posted on 17-01-2012 22:52 | By CJB666

It appears that for both captains the perception that the earth moved was created by a surfeit of alcohol. On the Rena the captain was ’celebrating’ his birthday on the day of the crash. On the Costa Concordia the captain was seen in one of the bars drinking with a woman at the time of the crash. The problem is that container and cruise ships are now getting so large that the rescue orgs. do not have the equipment or facilities to cope with a major incident. BTW the oil and fuel has yet to leak from the Costa C. to ruin yet more pristine beaches.

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