Neighbours war over seagull feeding

They attack in formation, out of the morning sun, pooping and screeching. Feathered bandits at 10 o'clock – seagulls – flights of them.

And their raids and feeding frenzies are causing a right old neighbourhood stink in Otumoetai.


Ron Chamberlain on a full seagull offensive. Photo: Tracy Hardy.

'Same problem, same people, same house,” says Ron Chamberlain on one side of the fence.

'It's nothing, absolutely nothing,” disagrees the protagonist on the other side of the fence. They didn't think 'this nonsense” was worth reporting. 'Who would read it?” they asked.

Well they make high-rating reality TV out of this stuff. And Ron thinks it's worth reporting because it's his house with the 'relatively new $12,000 paint job” that's being spattered by winged vermin.

Spattered with evil smelling, toxic but naturally produced missiles. That's why he got onto The Weekend Sun.

'If they're trying to p### me off, they are succeeding,” says Ron.

What's frustrating and annoying Ron is his allegation that the neighbours are 'deliberately encouraging” the seagulls by feeding them.

How do you know?

'Well, sea gulls are sitting and waiting on the fence, on the roof or on the shed,” he explains. 'Others are circling then swooping. They're not coming for the grass.”

Ron also claims to have seen his neighbour hand-feeding the seagulls off the deck.

Now his problem seems to have become the entire neighbourhood's problem. Because as soon as the squadrons of seagulls enter a uric acid bomb run over Ron's house, his ack-ack defences kick in.

He stands on his deck and blasts the scavenging birds with rowdy air horns – one in each hand. It's bird bedlam.

'They screech and make a helluva mess,” says Ron. Then he washes his house down. Again.

Across the fence Ron's story draws derision.

'I have three seagulls – just three,” they say. One has a broken beak and the other two each have just one leg.

'I feed them in the middle of the day when there are no other gulls around.”

This is the neighbour who'd be 'very annoyed if I saw this in the paper”.

'I just throw something out for them once a day, the gulls come and get it and they are gone. Is that a big problem?”

Well it's a big enough problem to get up Ron's nose. 'Everything gets up his nose,” replies the neighbour.

So on one side of the fence a deed befitting St Francis of Assisi himself and on the other side despair and disgruntlement. It's a classic ‘he says, she says' situation.

The solution is simple to you and I – why don't they meet at the fence, the demilitarised zone, and have a nice conciliatory chat. Sort it.

'Because I don't have a problem,” they say. 'He does.”

Ron returns the fire. 'I have learned from long experience as a shop steward that that doesn't work. It's turned nasty.”

'Oh rubbish,” replies the neighbour.

Apparently the seagull minder is not breaking any laws. 'I spoke to a policeman and he said there is nothing they can do about it. It's quite legal,” they explain, and they're right.

But, Ron says: 'Legal or not, I know the Tauranga City Council environmental protection officer asked them to desist – to feed them at the beach if needed. But nothing has happened”.

But Ron's not incapable of a good niggle. He draped a sign from his deck. It reads: ‘Warning – seagull feeding area'.

'What does that mean?” the neighbour asks. 'Does he want me to chuck some bread over the fence?”

What does it mean Ron? 'Well I hoped other neighbours might read it, perhaps the neighbourhood watch, and put some pressure on them.”

It hasn't worked. It's only further enraged. So instead of signs and a deafening, tension-filled silent stand-off, why don't they just talk?

They used to be friends, Ron even fixed their car. Perhaps they could again be neighbours – in the wholesome sense of the word.

'No,” comes the reply from one side of the fence and 'it wouldn't work” from the other.

That's the issue, now the personalities. Apparently Ron is a 'very unusual neighbour”. Is he a difficult bugger? My question, my word.

'I don't really want to say anything about him,” they respond. 'But I would say so. However, I have never not got on with him.”

Ron feels he's unpopular and bought into the wrong neighbourhood simply because he has a thick Scottish accent, has been a hard-core shop steward and thinks seagulls have a rightful place at the beach. He and his wife just want an end to it.

But there will be more skirmishes at the front tomorrow. The gulls will fly in, the food will go out, Ron's new paint will be strafed and the air horns will go off.

There will be screeching and pooping. It will be all hell – and it will take someone of Henry Kissinger proportions to sort this mess.

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6 comments

Feeding seagulls

Posted on 01-05-2015 10:49 | By nerak

should be at a beach only. Anyone who deliberately feeds them in a built up urban area is at the least thoughtless, and possibly selfish. The mess these birds leave is hard to clean off, and causes damage to roofs. I know, I regularly see residents in a neighbouring retirement village feed them, not only bread but chop/chicken bones too. Our roof is littered with bones. Better to feed small pieces of bread on a bird table, which smaller birds can enjoy, and they are a pleasure to watch, especially waxeyes if some fruit is put out.


BIRDBRAIN ACTIVITY

Posted on 01-05-2015 11:42 | By ROCCO

Get rid of the seagulls nuisance and deport the perpetrator to Birdsville.


Have to agree with Ron

Posted on 01-05-2015 12:24 | By davidt5

A residential home address is not the right place to be feeding sea gulls. With their constant fighting and general noise they are not nice birds to have around the home. Sounds like his neighbour is just trying to goad him by his selfish tactics. You have my sympathy Ron.


Freedom to fly anywhere

Posted on 01-05-2015 12:39 | By sharon kingi

Birds of any description will fly where they like. I feed the birds where we are. But i have to agree; seagulls need to be fed at the beach. They are a bit like the nuisance pigeons and their number 2's can also cause damage to the paintwork on cars. These neighbors are adults....sort it out. It seems that neither one of you are going anywhere in a hurry. Grow up and get on. Life is to short to squabble over feeding seagulls


Team Ron

Posted on 01-05-2015 13:15 | By maildrop

Feathered vermin and nothing more. Rather steal or beg food than find their own. They have "attacked" me on Marine Parade. They need culling not encouraging by feeding them. Silly people.


Not good for birds either

Posted on 01-05-2015 16:32 | By Calm Gully

Feeding birds bread is not good for them. It is not there natural diet and they need to fend for themselves. It is lovely to see birds in their natural habitat. Go to the beach to watch them enjoying their surroundings. Feeding is not good for birds OR paintwork.


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