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 New ‘units’ being trained. |
Technological marvel-makers Apple are expected to launch their latest ‘cool’ device tomorrow, amid much excitement from chief executives the world over.
Having been at the forefront of design excellence in the products you use to call your friends and access the web, Apple are now able to have those products made at a fraction of the price its rivals can’t achieve.
The new iWorker is produced from Chinese children which have been adapted to meet Apple standards right from birth, meaning they are able to work very long hours in poor conditions for no reward.
Once indoctrinated, they are packaged and shipped to Apple suppliers around the world, and set to work producing high sale-value goods for tech-savvy urban professionals at very low cost.
“iWorkers work right out of the box, with minimal complaints, as these have been educated out during their formative years”, said a spokesperson.
Despite this, there is a growing feeling around the world that all is not quite right, and some are calling for a boycott of Apple products.
Recent revelations of poor working conditions, bullying and accidents in Apple supplier’s factories are beginning to undermine the exclusive brand.
Apple chief executive Tim Cook thinks the new ‘device’ will help offset the criticism, stating “We care about every worker in our worldwide supply chain… and any issue with working conditions is cause for concern.”
Adding: “Any suggestion that we don’t care is patently false and offensive to us … accusations like these are contrary to our values.”
New Zealand supplies of the iWorker are expected to start arriving later this year, once immigration officials have established the level of humanity left in each unit and the appropriate visa to issue.
Officials are concerned that any units that break down will have had any thoughts of receiving a benefit thoroughly knocked out of them.
Posted on 01-02-2012 15:37 | By tuiruru
My wife bought me an iPhone for Christmas and after some thought I bought her an iRon. She wasn’t too happy about this, even after I explained that it could be integrated with the iWash, iCook and iClean functions she already had. Then when she tried it, the damned thing automatically opened the iNag reminder service which totally wiped out the iShag function! Man, was I iRate about that!