This is Wellington on a good day

I just spent a few days down in Wellington, and what a pleasure it was.

It may have helped that I hit the city during a brief stretch of sunny, calm weather; meteorological conditions fairly common here but rare and treasured in the capital.

It's been a while since I was last there; many things struck me, particularly in comparison to Tauranga. Most noticeable was the vibrancy of the city. It is a whirlwind of life with something around each corner and people dressed in every style; upmarket suits sitting happily alongside boho chic.

If there is any one overarching fashion choice it's that every second man under 40 is sporting a hipster beard. Fashion experts may claim we have reached 'peak beard” but clearly no-one in Wellington got the memo.

Wandering up Willis St shortly after arriving I came across a large ape sitting on the pavement. He gave me a pamphlet and I admired his remarkably convincing body suit (damn, it must have been hot in that thing!).

The pamphlet said: 'Hello, I am Aristotle the Ape Man. I am always trying to evolve. I wish to become a completely evolved human being. These are quotes that have been responsible for super-charging my evolution. Perhaps they may be of value to you in
your life.”

There indeed followed a bunch of quotes, many from Einstein. And, dammit, the ape delivered –they are of value: 'Kindness is more important than wisdom and the recognition of this is the beginning of wisdom.” That's from Theodore Isaac Rubin.

I still have no real idea why the ape was there. Which, to me, makes it all the better.

One main aesthetic difference is that Wellington is plastered with posters advertising gigs, theatre shows, festival events, everything. There are boards and walls put aside for them, and elaborate covers on streetlight poles and elsewhere to allow for it. Some might consider this messy but it gives the city a vibe; it shows off how much is happening, how much energy is swirling around you. And it's informative.

I wouldn't have found out that Swamp Thing were gigging if not for seeing a poster on a wall. (It was a packed gig and the boys were on fire by the way).

I remember when the council here basically banned posters, 20, maybe 25, years ago. Bands and events wouldn't be hurt because there would be big noticeboards around town for posters. Yeah, right.

That's just one reason why Tauranga is notoriously hard to advertise in, especially with shops becoming ever more reluctant to put posters in windows. That's why so many people here complain that they didn't hear about events till after they've been and gone. Here we clearly prefer to be clean and tidy and uninformed.

I was also knocked out by some of Wellington's outdoor spaces, from parks to food streets closed to traffic. And I thought of Wharf St. And I sighed.


Wellington's ‘Wharf Street'.

Brochures at Tauranga Airport say: 'Wharf Street Dining Precinct is a transformational space with unique theming which embraces the heritage of the street.”

With all due respect to whoever thought of that dreadful corporate language, I think it's a mess.

I'm sure someone had the best of intentions, but those big wooden fruit crate affairs (the world's clunkiest chairs?) just take up stupid amounts of space and are good for almost nothing. The ‘heritage signs' are badly placed. And don't mention the lights. And, given the make-up of eateries – many of which do not require outdoor seating – you have to wonder if it was just an exercise in building business relationships.

Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of closing off the street. Kids' cinema was great there, but that had nothing to do with a ‘dining precinct'. After the fiasco of Masonic Park, where a lovely green space was turned into a concrete walkway complete with the world's most boring historical earthworks, you sometimes have to look at Downtown Tauranga and wonder who's in charge of the asylum.

watusi@thesun.co.nz

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