Damn you Rogers Rabbits for writing the catchiest column in the world.

And after all the help I got from transcendental meditation and industrial quantities of counselling that would have rendered the Energizer bunny calm and mellow.

Brilleaux has one last Tauranga gig on June 13 before they start a UK tour.

Like you, I was happy floating along in my silent, simple world, until your column came out in last Friday's The Weekend Sun. See it at www.sunlive.co.nz/blogs/8341-catchiest-songs-world.html). Now it's back to therapy again...

Unique horror

Because you've reopened that whole barrel of monkeys. The unique horror that – for each of us – is the catchiest song in the world.

What you've sadly forgotten is that, where alarmingly catchy songs are concerned, we music columnists are the first line of defence.

We're the ones out there on the edge of the trenches, ready to hurl our hardened ears upon previously unheard grenades of catchy choruses and take the blast.

Foot tapping

That party in your cerebellum, and worse, the rhythmelodical subcortical, the part of the brain that triggers uncontrollable foot tapping and dad dance moves – we're the ones poised to prevent that, trained professional psychological noise control officers, ready to weed out and quarantine you from the worst dangers of extreme catchiness.

And now look what you've done. Even the strict training we undergo is only a few choruses deep. Even we can crumble in the face of a list of catchy songs, such as the one you published.

Suddenly, all those worst nightmares of catchiness come bubbling up from deep in our damaged psyches: ‘YMCA', ‘We are the Champions', ‘Living on a Prayer', ‘Mickey', and the one that sent me into extended Music Critic Detox: ‘Put a Ring on It'. Yes, Beyonce, my therapist will be sending you the bills, along with Rogers Rabbits for so insensitively re-raising this dangerous matter.

I've retreated to the only safe haven available in such circumstances: rhythm and blues. R&B can be catchy sometimes but there's a long-standing melodic rule that the tougher the musical backing the more catchiness is allowed.

English summer

And so we come to Brilleaux.

Brilleaux are off on Tuesday, flying over the horizon to what they optimistically expect to be an English summer. On Thursday they play the first show of their UK tour, in Brighton where Gordon Russel – ex-Dr Feelgood guitarist – and Geno Washington will be joining them on stage.

Then it's a two-day festival in Torquay, the Chichester Blues on the Farm Festival, where their special guest will be John Potter of Wilko Johnson's Solid Senders, three days of cider-tasting in Somerset and more gigs. Another Dr Feelgood guitarist, Steve Walwyn, is joining them for their final show in Leicester. They get back here on the last day of the month.

As a long-time observer of the Tauranga scene I must say I'm blown away. This is the band's second trip to the UK; they have some great gigs lined up and some spectacular guests. Damn fine!

And – with apologies to Brilleaux fans – I've been listening to the band's new album and I want to tell you it's fantastic.

Apologies? Well I have an advanced copy and there are no other copies in New Zealand. When Tim Julian finished mixing at Colourfield, the masters went straight to England to be pressed.

I think it's probably their best yet. Graham Clark's singing and harp playing are best yet, guitarist Bruce Rolands proves again to be a master of studio layering and simply a great guitarist, Brian Franks' uniquely inventive aggressive bass approach gives the band an edge that raises the music beyond cliché and drummer Ian ‘Beano' Gilpin just gets better with every album. And sings stellar harmonies.

Geezer songs

The songs? This is Brilleaux going through their ‘English period'; the lean towards mock-cockney geezer songs is noticeable. Thankfully outings like ‘Jack the Lad', ‘Strapped for Cash', and the title track ‘Pictures of the Queen' are as tough as they are funny.

Which is just as well since they are so damned catchy as well.

Though, luckily falling just below therapy-inducing levels...

I don't know if there is any room left but Brilleaux are doing one last show before they jet off – it's this Saturday, June 13 at Drivers Bar.

Doors open 8pm, tickets are $15 from Drivers.

watusi@thesun.co.nz