Ady & Flo
Flo, this all sounds too much for me, all these sports require the use of energy. These days I am all for sports like these to be included in the Doggy (style) Olympics:
(a) Wink wink, nudge nudge freestyle. Best not to compete as chasing a Chinese takeaway, and having to explain that the reason I swim like a fish is because I have been cloned from one. Takes too much explaining, but being on hand to clean up the wontons at the end is what you get a medal for. Sniff them carefully first, for illegal substances.
(b) Swan shooting in Hyde Park. I am always up for this, but the boss reckons little queenie may get upset. Who cares, this is the Olympics.
(c) Chasing parked cars. Unfortunately I would watch on in dismay as the Irish canines will take all the medals. It’s good though, you get to bark and take off after the red car down the road, after three steps you realise that it is futile and stop. Then you roll round laughing so much seeing the Irish Hounds keep going. Genetically this is why Irish dogs have flat noses, as they only have true enlightenment when they hit the back of a car.
(d) The hurdles. I have been training for this since I was your age Flo, and the reason the boss reckons I am so good at it, is because someone is always trying to put impediments in my way (especially by putting my food bowl on the bench) but German cunning and smarts makes me a potential champion.
(e) Scare the bejeezes out of the derelicts. Another sport that involves running up to the front gate, teeth bared, barking: you wanna go then?!Most are so mixed up they do not know what you are on about, and it is always better played when the boss lets me out to chase them. The only downside is you cannot bite them, as you do not know where they have been.
(f) Leave the Pit Bull at grannies. Not for the fainthearted, and we have set a time limit of an hour for this to be completed: two hours. It starts to gnaw at you, and this will be its last Olympics.
Well Flo that’s it from me, as the boss has turned out the light, which means only one thing, it’s time for my favourite sport, sneak under the duvet and go to sleep, alright!
Being sports mad dogs, we have to take a moment to thank our nutrition advisors ZiwiPeak, our trainer Wendy, and like the Chinese, we make a special effort to thank our doctors, the Mobile Vets, for making us as fast as, bro!