Dogs are revolting.
They're fed up with this nonsense about Cat Tax and demand an end to their persecution!
Now that the Cat Tax has the entire country scratching each other's eyes out, it's a good time to again question the dog registration system. Dogs are the only animals singled out for registration discrimination.
Why should decent, law-abiding dog owners whose animals never wander or bite or cause problems be forced to subsidise the cost of bureaucracy and rangers to police bad dog owners?
Answer: They shouldn't.
Which is why the dog registration system simply penalises good dog people, while the owners of unregistered and unruly dogs get away with it.
Make bad owners pay
Rather than focus on taxing cats, the government and councils would be better to overhaul the dog registration scam and put the cost of enforcement where it belongs: onto bad dog owners. In fact the irresponsible owners of any animals.
Anyone who thinks cats don't poop on the ground just like dogs is clearly batty.
And while you're at it, if dogs should be registered, so should horses. Plus they should be required to have a warrant of fitness and a number plate when driven on the road and their owners required to pick up the poop behind them.
The dog registration system is antiquated.
It was devised in an era when dog dosing was as much an issue as strays and dangerous mutts.
These days there are no benefits to the community or the dog owners of having an expensive and pointless dog rego system. Hydatids and dosing are now a distant memory, virtually consigned to history except in isolated cases.
It worked when it needed to.
Nowadays the only reason to have dogs registered is to contact the owner, a requirement that has been rendered obsolete by the microchipping process, which ironically, good abiding dog owners pay for ON TOP OF their registrations, yet the councils and dog rangers routinely use the privately-paid chipping system to locate and notify dog owners.
This is not a criticism of the dog rangers. They're good buggers doing a great job.
It is the way they are funded that is the issue.
Reward the good
Even a rebate for good behaviour would go some way to redressing the imbalance, but few councils have a provision to reward reliable owners for their good behaviour and therefore not putting any burden on the ratepayers.
And if dog owners received any special payback for their registrations, it would be a different story. But all we see are negative effects – bans and rules and more heavy-handed treatment dished out to – you guessed it – the law abiding.
Forget the Cat Tax, you're barking up the wrong tree. Let's have a re-think of the punitive dog tax on decent folk, and put the cost wholly on those idiots who aren't prepared to be proper animal owners.
Chances are, if they're incapable of controlling their dogs or choosing appropriately-bred animals, they shouldn't be allowed kids either.
No human breeding without a licence.
That includes being able to provide a warm, safe home, nutrition and basic care and education. There are plenty of citizens out there with cats, dogs and kids who shouldn't even be let out on their own, let alone given responsibility for another creature's wellbeing. Human or otherwise…
But that's a can of worms for another day!
Mobilising the Mob
It seems there's a new threat on the streets. Mobility scooter riders are
I read a notice on social media from Iain Bibby and Ian Birse, believed to be the ringleaders, who are pulling together the gang under the guise of ‘Papamoa Cruisers'.
However, our sources suggest this is a thinly-veiled operation to deal in drugs and weapons. (Gaviscon and walking sticks).
So beware good citizens of Papamoa, these gangs are increasing in strength and numbers and actively recruiting new members. So it could be said that the old people are revolting, along with the dogs.
We all know the threats posed by some of these gangs – it was only a few years ago that trouble loomed with the Spinners and Weavers.
Next, the mallets will be out at the Croquet Club and jack will be picked on again at the bowling green.
What do you call a gang of mobility scooter riders?
The Battery Power. The Mighty Mobility Mob… or The Trihards.
Cow of the Year
The Cow of the Year has just been announced and I note that it wasn't won by any of the people I nominated.
Our list of worthy recipients was quite extensive and stretched all the way from the inane floozies on television news desks to the Race Relations Commission.
We see that it was a real bovine that won this year. The Cow of the Year hails from Te Awamutu and made her victorious appearance at Fieldays. However, I wish to point out that some of the people we nominated had proven themselves to be real cows as well.
Never mind, better luck next year! There's always other awards that you can have a crack at. I'm sure there's a kennel club somewhere looking for Bitch of the Week.
Quote of the Week:
“Well to be Frank, I'd have to change my name.”