Well who am I trying to kid, let’s substitute the little for big. This week I’ve been laid up lame, the Chocolate Crusader had his wings clipped, so to speak. It all started with an adventure on the mudflats that turned to misadventure when one of my handsome legs took a departure from the intended course, leaving the whole 42.8kg of fine labrador bodyweight to fall flat on its undignified backside. In doing so I ruptured my AC More...

This week we take a look at food for invalids. That’s because this week, I am officially invalided. Or should that be invalidated? Whatever, during a particularly enthusiastic run around the estuary with Grandma at low tide, I somehow managed to lose control on a downhill corner and tore my anterior cruciate ligament. That, for the uninitiated, is the bit that holds the knee joint together. “The knee bone’s connected to More...

The winter chills have set in and this old dog’s body is feeling it. Chilled to the bone is an understatement. There’s nothing worse than having your bone chilled. I prefer mine at room temperature, although I know that old bitch Red takes just any bone she can get. However, the recent wintry weather has me wondering if I should be getting into some of the more fashionable apparel for cultured canines. And I don’t mean some More...

Since it is world potato week, I thought it would be appropriate for me to ramble on about this innocuous tuber. But please, do not try to blow one. Wars have been fought over the humble spud, (albeit by the Irish), pies are topped with it, and the French fry it. I would just like to chip in with this little point, that if one had have been attached to my tail last week during the electric fence episode, it would have been a French Fry. I More...

And on that farm, he had lethal weapons; well they were bloody lethal to my health anyway. I have heard of wind farms, fish farms, etc, but I am sure now the government’s law and order advisors will be happy as we have now got Taser Farms. So we can supply the ‘thin blue line’ with weapons of mass destruction. Just do not even think of asking me to do the muster on them. Back to the story, this is what happened on a cold, More...

Argh, ’tis winter and coats at this time of the year have many colours. So it was a cold day down on The Strand and my poor little sis Ady was doing a shiver. For the life of me I thought she had been watching a Michael Jackson music video, then I realised she cannot be watching it live. He don’t shake like that anymore. He may rattle, but shake, nah! I digress, as I noticed she was wearing a very thin coat. I prefer a thick brown More...

Next Friday, in case you didn’t know, is International Take Your Dog to Work Day. This is of little interest to a couple of my hardworking mates on the farm, who are at work every day, 24/7. Or my mates in the police force up the hill, putting their bodies on the line every day to keep us civilians safe and defend our property. For a media celebrity canine such as myself (world famous in my own lunch hour) it’s all just part of a More...

Following on from my ramblings last week, I apparently have one fan thinking of me and the way I get my rocks off, ooops sorry about that, I mean my teething issues from carrying stones. Jed thinks he has found just the place for me to pay a visit and get my well worn gnashers rebuilt (pictured). Now I can dig up rocks on the beach quite happily knowing there is a safety net out there for old dogs like me. Thanks Jed, this means a lot, as More...

I was pretty stoked to read on page 19 of this edition about dog teeth. The subject of dog teeth has been on the tip of my tongue, but as usual, it took an inspired piece in the Sun for me to burst forth with a creative outburst. My teeth have taken a bit of a hiding over the years, mainly due to my obsession with rocks. The bigger the better, and preferably under water for that added sense of danger and intrigue. If I could get into the More...

Wet behind the ears? Me, never.  Why I have to be kicked outside whenever nature calls is way beyond me, especially when the boss’s office is so warm and toasty. Instead I get ushered outside to find a tree in the pouring rain and cold when the jolly twoleggers get to stay warm and dry and even get to sit on a throne. Now I am putting in an official recommendation that the boss goes out to one of the fine garden centres advertising More...