This week we take a look at food for invalids.
That’s because this week, I am officially invalided. Or should that be invalidated?

Whatever, during a particularly enthusiastic run around the estuary with Grandma at low tide, I somehow managed to lose control on a downhill corner and tore my anterior cruciate ligament. That, for the uninitiated, is the bit that holds the knee joint together. “The knee bone’s connected to the…”

Out of action
Funny, cos I’d always thought the anterior cruciate was a sort of Korean stationwagon.
However, according to my personal sports physician, vet Garry, I am in fine company with a busted ACL. Along with several thousand other dogs, it’s the same affliction that put Ma’a Nonu out of action for a few months.
Darn, that will affect my chances of getting a call-up from Mr Henry.
So my focus while being laid up has been on food options for the convalescing. Mind you, my focus is always on food options, whether convalescing or not.

No breakfast!?
This week Garry operated on my ACL and to my horror, said I had to go without breakfast on Thursday morning. Crikey, I don’t know if my delicate 40kg frame can withstand food deprivation for a morning. All I can say is they’d better have some steak running through that drip-line while I’m comatose.
Unfortunately, I’ve had to cancel all social engagements for the week. Luckily it happened after I’d been to the amazing Animal Antics walk on Saturday when over 100 canines turned up. Some of us were the master race, others were just slippers.
Anyway, I’m in great hands with Garry and the team, and the Chocolate Crusader should be bouncing back into madcap adventures in no time.

Crazy antics
Speaking of crazed dog antics, I have to relate this story to you, about a dashing dachshund who lives in Russia, who I am sure has been watching too many re-runs of the X-Files (now here was I thinking the only good sausage dog, should have two slices of bread around it) anyway this loose unit goes by the name of Boniface, and is learning how to scuba dive.
The poor lad’s owner is a professional diver, named Sergei (obviously oxygen deprived at some stage) who has had a special dive suit made and is rapidly learning the tricks of the trade.
As Sergei hung the boy upside down and put on the rubber, (let’s not go there again) to which Boniface jumped into the briney.
Once underwater, he seemed to have a different outlook on life, emitting some high pitched whines.
Sergei told reporters that underwater, he does not experience any stress.
Could it be the dog stops whining at the point he loses consciousness?
Well the boss has put me through some pretty hair-raising experiences, but thankfully not to the point of being strung upside down underwater.
Makes the Animal Antics caper seem like a walk in the park in comparison. Anyway check out some of the  pictures from the day on this page.
And spare a thought for the convalescing folk this week. Chicken soup, anyone? Any of you saucy little bitches out there in nurse outfits and fishnet stockings – I could do with some extra TLC this week.

Mustard crusted scotch fillet